Just in case people needed more places to behave like entitled douches in London, roll on December 2016, which will see the opening of the first Fellatio Cafe in the UK.
The cafe, an idea which comes from Geneva, is the brainchild of Bradley Charvet, a man who looks exactly as wanky as you'd think. He's an entrepeneur who owns FaceGirl, a Geneva-based escort agency.
The UK branch of the 'blow job cafe' is set to be based in Paddington and will open on December 5th. It's being backed by BumPix, a social media site for escorts (site NFSW, obvs).
So, how's it going to work? Well. The coffee shop, which will actually serve coffee and pastries, will give customers an iPad with a list of women they can choose from to give them a blow job alongside their pain au chocolate. It's a £50 flat rate just to be there but every extra 15 minutes costs £10.
The worst part? The blow jobs don't even seem to be planned to take place in private. 'It will be a cafe like others,' Charvert explained to the Independent, adding that there will be two booths for 'shy guys'. Just imagine that ladies, a cafe full of men, sat at individual tables, sipping coffee and dropping croissant crumbs whilst women kneel before them giving them blow jobs.
Prostitution isn't illegal in the UK but running brothels is. Charvert assures the Independent though that his lawyer is 'currently setting everything up to be sure that the concept will be legal in the UK'.
To be clear, the problem of the cafe isn't that it is prostitiution. The argument for legalising prostitution is strong; it's a concept that, if done correctly, allows two consenting adults to enter into a mutually accepted business contract. Obviously, there are arguments to the other side and legalised prostitution has been taken advantage of by human traffickers in some countries. It does make sense though that having a more accepting attitude to prostitution can only make it safer in the long run.
No, the problem isn't that the cafe is allowing prostitution to take place, the problem is the 'boys' club' attitude that the venture is seeped in. Speaking back in June to News Talk about the Geneva venture, Chavert said 'Studies have demonstrated that men perform better at work after having been satisfied during the morning.' It's as if blow jobs, provided by a woman, have been reduced to a tool akin to a caffiene fix that enables a man to go off and perform his role as successful alpha breadwinner in society.
All of which would be well and good, if we as women were allowed to go and get oral sex with our morning coffee too. But unfortunately, Charvert isn't up for that just yet. 'It’s not scheduled for women at the moment. This question is frequently asked and we are gonna think about it later on. If there is a real demand, we will do the necessary.'
Anyone fancy moseying on up to Paddington in December to campaign for Charvert's cafe to provide oral sex for women too?
Nah, thought not.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.