Bataclan Attack Survivors: ‘The Light After Darkness’

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by Grazia |
Published on

On November 13th 2015, IS gunmen and suicide bombers attacked the Bataclan concert hall, the Stade de France, restaurants and bars - leaving 130 people dead and hundreds wounded...

One year on, three victims talk to Grazia about life after the worst terror attack in French history.

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Isobel Bowdery

Isobel Bowdery and her boyfriend, Amaury Baudoin, were at the Bataclan watching the Eagles of Death Metal when gunmen stormed the concert. Isobel played dead for over an hour, lying in a river of strangers' blood from the 89 people around her who had been killed.

The only moment that comes close to the euphoria I felt when you were born was being reunited with your father after I thought I'd lost him forever at the Bataclan.

Isobel and Amaury were rescued and later exclusively told Grazia of their joy at expecting a baby on the very week of the attack's one-year anniversary. Leonore arrived last week and here, Isobel, 23, writes an open letter to her 'miracle' new-born, Leonore.

Dear my sweet Leonore,

I write this letter to you for you to read when you are ready to hear about 13 November 2015.

Right now, you are a tiny baby. You arrived three weeks early and you are sleeping right before Mummy's eyes. You're perfect and I already love you so much.

A few months ago Daddy and I were trying to choose you a name. After many we didn't agree on, we found your name and knew it was the perfect suit.

Leonore: shining light.

And that's exactly what you have brought to us: light, after a time of great darkness. You see a year before you were born, Daddy and Mummy bore witness to a terrible event where many people were hurt. Some people are not here today, but I can assure you they were wonderful people. It could have easily been your mother or father who had lost their lives that night and that's why my beautiful daughter, you really are a miracle.

I didn't think after the attack I would ever feel true unrestrained happiness again but at 00:53 on Friday 21st October, I felt it. I felt the kind of happiness that makes life worth living, worth fighting for. My heart swelled when you entered this world and both your parents cried with unimaginable joy. The only moment that could come close to the euphoria I felt was when I was reunited with your father after believing I had lost him forever.

I vow to protect you as best as I can from the evil in the world. I want to make this world magical for you. I want you to be able to see the beauty and if god forbid, you are ever in a situation like your mother was in, that you can feel what I felt: love.

At that point of time, I was ready to say goodbye to my life because I had fulfilled life's purpose: to love and be loved. And this is thanks to my family, my friends and all the great people in my life who made it a spectacular one. And in the last two weeks, those people have come from far to see you, to hold you, to love you and together, we will all provide you with the best life possible.

Life isn't perfect and there will be times where you will be faced with hardship but I promise you, if you prioritise love and let go of all the little things that will try and bring you down, you'll be just fine. That's the essence of a good life. It's really that simple my girl.

I can't wait to watch you grow into a strong woman. I can't wait to see what you become. I can't wait to love you every day of your life.

Thank you for bringing me back hope, happiness and a heavy heart full of love.

I love you with all my heart.

Mummy.

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Nick Alexander

Nick Alexander was the sole British victim of the Bataclan attack. He worked in merchandising and was touring with the Eagles of Death Metal. Here, his sister Zoe, 43, tells Grazia about the brother she lost – and how his death, aged just 35, is changing lives...

Nick's death wasn't in vain.

"That night last November, I was watching TV when my parents called to say something was happening at the Eagles of Death Metal concert in Paris. Nick's phone wouldn't connect so we rang the Embassy, and the situation began unfurling on social media. In the early hours, we got a call confirming our worst fears: Nick had been killed.

"He had bullet wounds to the chest and stomach, and there were several reports that he'd been trying to save other people. That was absolutely Nick; he was amazingly loyal. It was hugely comforting.

"My brother and I were very close; he was my biggest cheerleader. He was so funny, and a brilliant friend. Growing up, I was very much the big sister, and always trying to educate him musically. Although Nick was free-spirited, he loved being at home with all of us. Even now, we still think of ourselves as a family of four – it just feels like he is away on tour.

"Our hearts are with all of those in Paris who have gone through the same thing as us. That solidarity is so important. A year on, we're moving forward as a family, but only because we haven't held on to any anger or bitterness. There's no point, because the end result would still be the same.

"After he died, we set up a memorial trust in Nick's name, aimed at providing musical equipment to disadvantaged people. Music was his absolute passion and he loved people. We have also organised a concert in London on November 15th, called A Peaceful Noise, to commemorate the anniversary. Musicians Nick knew over the years such as Gaz Coombes from Supergrass, Frank Turner, Maximo Park and Fran Healy from Travis are all playing. We want the gig to be a celebration, and to show we won't be cowed by what happened.

"I still think of Nick all the time. He's part of the fabric of my being. To have his life extinguished in that way was a huge waste, but going forward we can do everything possible to make sure it wasn't in vain."

For more information visit www.thenickalexandermemorialtrust.com and www.apeacefulnoise.com

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Antoine Leiris

Antoine Leiris, 35, was at home with his baby when his wife Hélène was murdered at the Bataclan, aged just 35. His defiant Facebook tribute to his wife's killers called "You will not have my hate" was shared thousands of times. Those powerful words are now the title of his heartrending memoir of life since November 13.

You will not have my hate.

"The Facebook post was only meant for friends and family. I typed it exactly how I thought Hélène would want it to be. The words came to me on my way back from seeing her at the morgue.

"After two days of feeling simultaneous hope and fear as I searched every hospital in Paris it was there I'd finally found her. She was as beautiful as when she left for the show on Friday night, as beautiful as when I fell in love with her 13 years ago. For one precious moment it was like getting her back.

"Afterwards, as I drove to our son's nursery I decided the men who did this cannot have my hate. If I let hate enter into our lives it will take over and destroy them. It will fill every space, every morsel and every pleasure and I can't let that happen.

"I never expected it to go viral and didn't know it had spread around the world until journalists started calling the next day. The book is different. I have chosen what goes in and it has helped to bring boundaries. I just wanted to write things as they were. There's the public part of the story which I've chosen to share and the rest is just for me and my son."

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ITV News translated his post on 16 November 2015, three days after the attack and laid it over some images of the tributes that were being left at the scene:

You Will Not Have My Hate by Antoine Leiris is out now - available from Amazon here.

More on this:

The World Mourns Paris Atrocities With Images Of Peace And Solidarity

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