Flirtmoji have released a plethora of emojis you can use when sexting and, while they cater to a wide range of tastes (hooray!), there are a few I'm not quite sure about. As in, I have no idea what they'd be for and in what context I'd use them. For example, call me narrow-minded but a worm on a fork? Is that a euphemism for tit-wanking or something?
To figure out how to sext with the more left-field of the sex emojis (I mean, a penis and a vagina is pretty self-explanatory) I enlisted the help of a guy who may or may not be my boyfriend who provided some succinct context as to how they could be used in the future. Behold: the seven weirdest flirtmoji up for grabs, and how you can incorporate them into your sexts.
Oh, and slightly annoyingly, you have to copy and paste the emoji into your messages – they don't come up as part of the keyboard.
The double-ended worm-penis on a fork
This is probably the most disturbing one, evoking biblical symbolism of the snake in the Garden of Eden. Except it's on a fork, and it's also a penis, so maybe it's something about temptation? Or a weird subversion of the 'you've got him wrapped around your little finger' phrase? Because it's a penis and it's on a fork?
A guy suggests: 'Stick a fork in my dick, I'm done'
The glowsticks stuck between some arteries
Perhaps some allusion to a desire for hallucinogenic drugs while having sex. Or a wish to go clubbing, drop acid, and have sex.
A guy suggests: 'Hey look at this heart I stole from an organic waste disposal... do you want to have sex?!'
The Saturn Boob
Maybe this is quite sweet. Like, 'Oh, your boob is as impressive as the ringed planet' or 'Your boob is so great, it belongs in the Milky Way' or something.
A guy suggests: 'How about we have sex in Uranus? Like the planet. But also... Uranus. As in, your anus.'
I respond: I think it's Saturn
A guy clarifies: No, it could be Uranus as Uranus also has a ring. A ring which is also like an anus.
I respond: You're so intelligent, which is why I'm going out with you.
READ MORE: Finally! Apple Are Introducing Some More Diverse Emojis!
The false-nail compact mirror
Absolutely at a loss with this one. Maybe it's something to do with the fact that you want to put fake nails on and give a handjob? Or maybe it's something about your boyfriend wanting to put fake nails on for some cross-dressing kink? Or maybe it's nothing to do with false nails? I'm so confused.
A guy suggests: 'See this Tamagotchi egg timer thingy? Let's have sex with it!' [he is also confused]
*Edit: I've just been told that this is actually a picture of a pill box containing contraceptive tablets which... makes much more sense. Presumably you send this to someone when you want to say: 'I want to sex you so much tonight that you'll need to use adequate contraceptive protection, lest you fall pregnant as an inevitable consequence of our lovemaking.' *
The landline coming out of an arse
Obviously something about a booty call, now I come to think of it. But the fact that the landline emerges from the bottom itself begs the question: 'When we make a booty call to someone else aren't we, in effect, just calling ourselves? '
A guy suggests: 'Hello, this is my ass calling. It would like to make a reverse charge booty call – will you accept the charges?'
The wolf
No idea.
A guy suggests: 'That's just a wolf.'
Two toothbrushes
Again, maybe this is quite a sweet one – hinting that they want the other person to come round? A sort of metaphorical symbol of unity. Or maybe it's bigger than that – maybe, after you've exchanged emojis of wang, this is an emoji about moving in together.
A guy suggests: 'Let's get naked and rub our toothbrushes together.' [Or that, I suppose]
To summarise, I don't think we'll ever truly understand what these seven emoji actually mean. Sort of like the rice pyramid or the fact that there's a camel with one hump and a camel with two humps (why?) or the suitcase with a key on top of it.
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Follow Stevie on Twitter: @5tevieM
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.