We Asked Bearded Men If They Are Terrible People

According to a new study bearded men are the worst people ever. So we decided to find out if it's true

We Asked Bearded Men If They Are Terrible People

by Jess Commons |
Published on

Is the age of the beard over? Maybe. The facial fur that covers the chins of men up and down the country has come under fire (again) in a new study from social networking app Eva which claims that bearded men are terrible, terrible people.

The survey spoke to 2000 people about their wrongdoings and found that 45% of bearded men 'enjoy the occasional brawl', 47% have cheated and 40% said they'd stolen something in the past.

Seeing as all the bearded men *we *know are quite nice, we decided to do a highly scientific survey of our own in which we asked a bunch of bearded men how awful they were. Here's what they said.

Pete Strauss, 27

Do you enjoy brawling? Would you define yourself as a 'brawler'?

I've been in one fight ever. I was dressed as a Thunderbird and I pushed a man in a ditch because he pushed my friend Ben Thomas in a ditch. I didn't particularly enjoy it although I have recounted the story to people several times.

Have you ever cheated?

I have cheated when I was a younger man but felt all sick and guilty afterwards.

Have you ever stolen anything good?

I've not stolen much at all. I used to take crisps from a sandwich shop at uni when I was poor and destitute. Not really done it again. Oh and I used to get on the train without paying sometimes as well. I didn't actually have beards for any of the incidents. If anything it's improved my behaviour; put me back on the straight and narrow.

Alistair Bean, 28

Do you brawl Alistair?

I've never brawled with a beard, or ever for that matter. Does play fighting count? Although I don't do much of that these days. I got punched once when I didn't have a beard.

How about cheating? Are you a cheater?

I've cheated once. It involved a nightclub with a pole in it and someone ringing me up the next day threatening to beat me up. I was 18 and beardless.

Do you steal things?

I once stole a drumstick lollipop from a petrol station whilst wearing my Cubs uniform. I did get a little thrill but that's where my stealing days started and ended. I was 7 and, surprisingly, beardless.

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David Dobson, 47

Do you enjoy the odd brawl?

Brawling's not really my thing. More of a broiler than a brawler.

How about cheating?

I'm not a massive cheater. Though I think I may have bent the rules in Monopoly a few times...

And stealing. Do you steal things?

I don't think I ever actually stole anything. But I've been guilty of extended borrowing. The synth in my sitting room has been on loan since 1987.

Freddie Jones, 22

Do you brawl?

Erm no. I don't enjoy the 'occasional brawl'. Although I like getting in the ring. Not sure if that counts?

How about cheating?

I don't really thing it's counted as cheating but I have knowingly flirted with another girl at a time in my life. I don't class myself as a cheater though.

And stealing?

I steal hearts. Lol. In all seriousness when I was younger I stole a few things and no, I'm not proud of it at all. But a few years later I traced up the same people and returned what I stole.

Deepak Parmar, 32

Do you brawl Deepak?

I'm a lover, not a fighter. Apart from when I drink a lot of vodka...then the rules change. But seriously I very rarely feel the need to brawl.

How about cheating?

I've only ever cheated once in my life...and paid the price for it. It was in a previous relationship and I wouldn't ever do it again.

And how much have you stolen in your life?

I haven't intentionally stolen anything since I used to steal books from the library as a young child. I'm such a geek. So no I wouldn't steal, I think my moral compass is fairly balanced.

Like this? Then you might also be interested in:

The Perils Of Beard Sex

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** Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons**

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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