The other day, after six months’ pandemic pressure, I cracked. I just couldn’t see what there was to look forward to, deprived of so many of the usual things that bring us joy: people, parties and plays. I also felt guilty at feeling so wretched – child-free, with no parents to worry about, I have a career that appears to be holding up, my health, a loving partner, charming flat and beautiful dog. And yet I felt flat, overwhelmed, emotionally spent.
I am not alone. Science journalist Tara Haelle’s advice piece, Your Surge Capacity Is Depleted – It’s Why You Feel Awful, went viral back in August. Meanwhile, when BuzzFeed reporter Addy Baird recently tweeted: ‘I feel really burnt out lately... I don’t have the energy to text my friends back a lot of the time. I feel isolated and want to sleep a lot. Work is... hard. I’ve mentioned this to a couple friends, who said they feel the same way,’ it received 1.2k responses, 31.6k retweets and 174.9k likes.
In the subsequent thread, people admitted to feelings of exhaustion, vagueness, problems with recall, irrational anger, self-isolation and lack of all joy. ‘Everything is way too much,’ observed one. ‘I am a prisoner to my job/desk/house/ same room/same monotony/no variables, just the exhausting same, same, same,’ lamented another. More than one alluded to September’s Journal Of The American Medical Association report, which found that the incidence of depression has increased threefold during the crisis.
There’s another element to this picture and–as so often–it is gender.A major study published by UCL found that young women are the group most likely to have suffered high levels of depression, anxiety and loneliness during lockdown. Pregnant women and new mothers have also been found to be super-stressed. Meanwhile, a report by the Mental Health Foundation argues that women are suffering more mental health conditions across the age range. Covid anxiety is a feminist issue.
The reason? On the one hand, women perform more domestic work than their so-called partners (an average 10 hours a week more, even pre-lockdown). On the other, they take responsibility for what sociologists refer to as ‘emotional labour’ and the ‘female load’ – project managing the psychological and practical aspects of the household. The upshot: even if not buying the ingredients for dinner, they’re likely to have come up with the list, while ensuring that there isn’t a bloodbath during said meal falls squarely on their shoulders.
The men I know have regarded lockdown as a kind of home spa – getting fit, trying new recipes – while their partners have been forced to confront the reality that having it all means doing it all dressed up in fancier pants. Add the fact that women’s jobs and finances tend to be more precarious and the pandemic has created a perfect storm of mental health inequality.
It’s like living in a war-zone mentality almost, where you don’t know what to expect next.
Dr Suha Kersh, a skin specialist and psychiatrist at London’s 23MD clinic, is adamant that something momentous has taken place in women’s lives. ‘You could call it trauma, you could call it stress, you could call it acute life changes,’ she argues. ‘It’s like living in a war-zone mentality almost, where you don’t know what to expect next, what’s happening next, how to navigate your life.’
So what can we do? In the first instance, acknowledge what is happening and ask for help, à la Addy Baird. I make this sound easy. It isn’t. However, it is crucial. Second, get outside, score some vitamin D, move. I was told this by an epidemiologist recently, who also proposed a policy he referred to as ‘physical distancing with social solidarity’, given how important connection is in building resilience. The tendency is to isolate when we are feeling vulnerable. Resist this. Take steps to improve your sleep. As a lifelong insomniac, I strongly recommend melatonin, a hormone naturally produced by the body, in which women can be deficient. Meanwhile, know that the positive aspect to so many women suffering these issues is that you are not alone.
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Read More:
Six Women On Their Experience Of Anxiety And Depression During Lockdown
What It's Like To Navigate Coronavirus When You Suffer From Health Anxiety