We have all had truly terrible housemates right? In a time when none of us can afford to live alone and will likely never own a house, many of us have to cohabitate long past our University years. As a result, most of us have had to live with Kleptomaniacs, noisy bastards, roommates' partners, potential murderers, and just downright dirty so-and-sos. Well, just thank your lucky stars that you're not at an American university where roommate actually means...sharing a room with someone. And then read this total nightmare stories and thank your lucky stars that the shoebox halls of residence room you had in your first year was allllll yours.
1. The complete nightmare
'My roommate did these things in this order through out the year: Wore my clothes out when I was out of town
Accused me of making out with one of her friends who I didn't know and left me at a party
Stole my makeup
Slept with 3 of my friends
Had sex with someone with my younger sister in the same room while screaming and when asked to quiet down responded "can't help it the dicks too good"
Accused me to the RA of stealing her adderall
Knocked my lamp off my desk and broke it
Died her hair black using my hand towel
Stole my fish
Threw my bunkbed ladder through our 3rd story window
When my boyfriend came to stay for Valentine's Day and she had planned on going home but then refused because she was convinced I had sex on her bed
She would do her makeup and wipe the excess makeup on her sheets
Kept half eaten food in the ceiling tiles
stole every Halloween decoration in the building
Flooded out room TWICE with 3 inches of water
Stole a fan from the rec room
Stole an American flag at half mass from a frat
Tried to steal a composite
Shit in my shampoo bottle
Told me she wished I would die so she could get free tuition
She gained 40 lbs and was dismissed from the university due to her .78 gpa'
2. The mess
'She was disgusting and a total slob and wouldn't let me clean her side of the room. It was always super cluttered with shit everywhere. Our room had a gross smell all the time because of her, so I finally broke down and decided to let her be mad at me, and cleaned everything. I found cups, like 5 or 6, of partially drank spoiled, rotten, curdled chocolate milk...plates of partially eaten moldy food...it was horrible. She got so pissed off that I cleaned it that she ended up moving in with another girl. I wasn't upset about it...
She'd also have loud crazy sex at any and all hours of the night, wouldn't lock our door and I ended up getting some items stolen...it was a mess.'
Credit @B_Nuts
3. The Catfishee
'I was friends with a girl a year behind me, her freshman year she was randomly matched with a girl who:
- Was convinced she was in a relationship with the lead singer of Tokyo Hotel, and had been for several years, but it was obviously some catfisher on the internet. They would skype where only he could see her, his video would be blank for 'security reasons' and he told her they could never meet in person because of the media. And since he was always 'on tour' she would skype with him at all hours of the night to make up for the time zone differences. It was actually kinda sad/scary, several people i know tried to explain to her that she was being taken advantage of, but she could/would not listen, pretty sure she did stuff on camera for him and sent him money.
- Brought multiple bags from home stuffed full of her cats hair, and knitted tiny clothes/figurines/whatever out of it. My friend was of course very allergic to cat hair.'
Credit @dandalions
4. The Kleptomaniac
'One of my freshman roommates was a self-professed kleptomaniac. She got a huge thrill from stealing clothes from department stores. Usually Nordstrom. In the first week or so of school, she went through her closest and showed us all of the clothing she had stolen, plus she knew how much each item cost and how she'd swiped it. Thousands of dollars worth of nice clothing. She had so much that half of it still had tags on and she never wore it, but she took it because she knew she could. Usually this theft involved carrying a really big purse, taking way too many items into a dressing room, and then emerging with one item in the purse, one to buy, and the rest to put back. Then if an alarm went off, they would assume it was just the item she had purchased and let her leave. Half the time she returned the item she paid for soon after too. It got to the point where girls in the dorm would go to the mall with her, and they'd all pick out clothes they liked and she'd go back on her own later and steal them for them. It was crazy. And to my knowledge, she's still doing this and hasn't been caught. She never seemed to steal from anywhere other than department stores, and none of my stuff ever went missing, so I guess she wasn't too bad of a roommate, really. Just a person of questionable morals.'
*Credit [@TheWishingStar
5. Ron
"We had a suite of six guys. One of these guys, Ron, was a weird ass hippie who did all sorts of hysterical things.
Example 1: he was barefoot wherever he went (not to bad, but we got concerned when it started snowing)
Example 2: me and another suite mate came home one day and opened the door and there were something like 5 20 gallon drums filled with dirt and dying plants. There were bugs everywhere for weeks. When we asked Ron "what the fuck?" He responded by exclaiming "Look guys! Can you believe the farm was giving these away for free??"
Example 3: he liked to use the microwave to cook. He once baked weed into chocolate using the microwave (impressive). Another time he put a plastic bowl in for about 20 minutes until the fucking thing vaporized and released poison smoke. Another time he made his tea so hot that it spilled and melted the carpet.
Example 4: he invited my roommate in for a three some (guess it would have been a foursome if he had said yes) out of the blue.
Example 5: he fermented apple wine under his bed. That was actually pretty cool."
Credit @Zephix321
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.