There are just some things in life that terrify us. From spiders to dark rooms, everyone has something that gets their pulse racing and palms sweating. And one woman has taken to Reddit’s Am I The Asshole (AITA) thread to see if she was in the wrong for leaving her boyfriend in Arizona after he terrified her by pretending to push her off the Grand Canyon.
‘I’m 150% afraid of heights,’ she wrote in the post. ‘[I] don’t go near windows/railings type of scared. Phobia in the full sense of the word. Because of this, I didn’t want to go [to the Grand Canyon] in the first place, but it’s a famous destination so I figured it was worth facing my fears.
‘I had multiple convos with my BF about my fears,’ the original poster (OP) detailed. ‘At least 5 separate, in-depth convos about how scared I was about having a panic attack around strangers…He assured me he’d help me maintain my distance from ledges and calm me down if I got overwhelmed/scared.
‘Well, on day one…we stopped at a scenic lookout to take pictures and he decided it’d be funny to grab me & pretend to try & push me over the edge of the cliff. I immediately freaked out and (unsurprisingly) had a panic attack, all in front of our group while the poor guide tried to calm me down.
‘I’m not proud of how I acted,’ she admitted. ‘I’ll tell you, it wasn’t pretty. I was sobbing and yelling that he was cruel for doing this. That he knew I was terrified, and he was evil for using that against me. He was yelling back that it was a joke, I was taking it too seriously, and to get over it because I was embarrassing myself [and] him (which to be fair, I was…it was quite embarrassing).’
'He was yelling back that it was a joke, I was taking it too seriously, and to get over it because I was embarrassing myself'
‘I told him he was a horrible person, and his ex was right to leave him,’ she continued, admitting she felt like she was the asshole for that comment. ‘He yelled that was fucked up to say and in hindsight I think he’s right, especially since it was in public.
‘The tour guide separated us and took me back to their office and I have no idea what [my boyfriend] did after that,’ the woman explained. ‘He wasn’t in our hotel when I got my stuff, and I got a flight to my parents’ state and I’ve been staying here while I figure out if this relationship is still alive.
‘We live together and work for the same company, so if this is over my life is going to get very messy,’ she continued. ‘The thing is we have a ton of mutual friends and I have half of them texting/calling me to say I’m overreacting and being a “psycho bitch.”’ Ouch.
‘They’re particularly mad that I left him in Arizona,’ she elaborated. ‘[But] I don’t think what I did was worth all the hate I’m getting. I left him the rental car and hotel room and took an Uber to the airport, I paid for everything myself (including our hotel room), and I left a note in the room telling him I was going to my parents’. I feel like people don’t understand, but there are so many people saying the same thing that I’m starting to question myself.’
Let’s be honest, a joke isn’t a joke if nobody else is laughing with you. This was seriously dangerous and to terrify your girlfriend to entertain yourself is an asshole move. While the OP could have reacted better, she was in the middle of a panic attack. Removing herself from the situation, and clearly communicating where she’d gone to her boyfriend, allowed her breathing time and mental space to evaluate what she wants to do next — although leaving a note was a little Berger in Sex And The City.
As one Reddit user put it: ‘It's a real canyon and falling in is well within the realm of reason. This is an insane thing to perpetrate upon anyone, much less a significant other.’