It’s a well-known fact that a holiday can make or break a couple— but most people don’t invite their ex on the trip with them, too. Yet, that’s the topic of Reddit’s latest Am I The Asshole post where one woman is trying to figure out if she did something wrong by inviting her ex-wife on holiday with her new wife, their child, her new wife’s parents AND siblings. Yikes.
The couple had spoken about visiting the Greek islands since their very first date and had carefully saved up their money to go on the trip, which seems like a pretty personal vacation. But the original poster [OP] explained she was still very close to her ex-wife because they had three children together, who all sadly passed away. ‘I still consider her my family,’ she wrote. ‘I’ve known her almost my whole life so after our divorce there were no hard feelings. She’s like an aunt to my stepson and is very good friends with my current wife.’
Not only are the ex-wife and stepson close but it was actually him who asked if the former partner could come on their family vacation. ‘I thought about it for a while and I decided why not ask her,’ explained the OP. ‘Her and her boyfriend had recently broken up and she’s been pretty beaten down the last few weeks so I thought a little vacation for her would help her out a lot and get some things off her mind.’
Kindly, the OP’s current wife had no problem with her partner’s ex joining the holiday and even offered to pay for her plane ticket and hotel room. Trouble only began when her mother noticed the extra plane ticket and demanded to know who was joining them on the trip. ‘She blew up in my face and told me I’m making everyone very uncomfortable by inviting her,’ the OP wrote.
‘[She] also accused me of planning to cheat on my wife by inviting her on this trip… [and] said she’s no longer family since we’re divorced and have no kids together. She stormed out of my house and now everyone is calling to say they don’t want to go on the trip anymore,’ she continued.
‘I was just trying to do something nice for someone who was struggling at the moment. I didn’t think inviting one person would cause everyone else to pull out,’ the OP added. ‘I’m starting to feel like an asshole because now my wife is very upset that her family isn’t going and we’ve spent all this money…To make things worse, my ex-wife has texted me saying she’s all packed for tomorrow and how excited and grateful she is that we invited her.’
This is undeniably a bit of a mess. But the OP isn’t the assehole for extending a kind gesture, but her mother-in-law might be for creating so much drama. It’s seriously out of order to say a couple ‘have no kids’ because their children have passed away.
Additionally, The important people in this story are the OP, her partner, and their son—it’s their holiday and their decision who they invite and all of them actively wanted the ex-wife to join them on the trip.
It’s sad and a waste of money that the OP’s wife’s family have opted out of the holiday because the ex is joining and perhaps they should have been warned before hand to avoid a big dispute. But if there’s been this much drama with the partner’s family before they’ve even gotten on the plane, the four of them will probably have a more relaxing holiday without them.
As one Reddit user point out: ‘So, to be clear, you were paying for the vacation for everyone? If that's the case, then NTA, your wife didn't mind and her family is complaining over a free international trip. That's pretty ballsy of them.’