Picking the name of a child is a long and special task that can take dozens of books, articles and websites to help soon-to-be parents make their choice. You have to consider how the name will sound when they’re older, if it works with their surname and what nicknames they might be given—so, it’s not a decision to be taken lightly.
Which is why, this 28-year-old woman was understandably infuriated when she discovered her husband and mother-in-law had changed the name destined for their first child without including her. ‘Our daughter’s due date is approaching, and I am feeling very nervous and anxious,’ she explained on Reddit’s Am I The Asshole thread.
‘My husband and I decided on naming our daughter Anne after my grandmother,’ she explained. ‘I spent most of my childhood and teen years with my grandparents. I was extremely close with my grandmother and was devastated when she passed away in 2016 from lung cancer. We live close to my grandfather and visit him on a daily basis,’ the mum-to-be continued. ‘It means so much to my grandfather that we are naming out daughter Anne.’
This is such a generous and emotionally-motivated gesture that it’s hard to see how anyone could oppose to the couple naming their baby after the original poster’s [OP] grandmother. Yet, dispute began when the OP’s mother-in-law was introduced to the mix.
‘My MIL [mother-in-law] and I are cordial when we get together,’ the OP wrote. ‘My husband is her only child, and she feels like since I stepped into his life, their relationship changed. He is still very close with her, but he doesn’t visit often because of the pregnancy.
‘MIL invited us over for a small dinner party and I thought it was going to be a pleasant evening,’ she continued. ‘When we sat down for dinner my MIL turns to me and says [that she and my] husband spoke this past week and he told me that you were going to change her name to be after me,’ Wow, did somebody say egomaniac?
‘I could feel my anxiety levels rising,’ the woman continued. ‘[I] said “No. We’re still planning on keeping her name to be Anne…Right? [And] I gave my husband a look but he didn’t say anything. My MIL makes a face and says “Well, it seems like [your] husband isn’t on board with her name.”’
This situation has all the vital ingredients of a Shakespeare play. The betrayal, the villain, the backstabbing? It’s frankly ludicrous to try and remove a mother from the process of naming her child, considering the said baby is currently inside her body.
‘I finished eating and told [my] husband that we were leaving,’ the OP said of her reaction. ‘We got into the car and [my] husband tried to apologise. I told him that I was angry with him for not discussing with me and even more upset with MIL… MIL sent me a few text messages regarding my behaviour that evening and hopes I will change my mind.’
This is one of those Reddit posts were the OP is very clearly not the one in the wrong. While she has a meaningful reason that she wants to name her baby Anne, her mother-in-law seemingly wants the baby named after her for a confidence boost?
Additionally, it’s spineless and immature of the OP’s husband to let his mum commandeer the narrative and suggest he doesn’t like the name Anne for his daughter while he sits back and says nothing. His wife deserves an open and honest conversation about what he actually wants (he should, of course, have input into the decision), and once they’ve come to the conclusion themselves, they can tell the MIL their plan – no compromises.
READ MORE: This Woman’s Husband Told Her To Take Just Two Weeks Maternity Leave