Remember how Reese Witherspoon’s boarding-schooled character in Cruel Intentions went public about her virginity, writing for a magazine about how she would wait for marriage before she slept with someone? Well, something very similar has just happened – except it’s a British boy saying the same thing and, oh wait, it’s happened in real life.
Phin Lyman, an 18-year-old at Wellington College, Berkshire, has ‘outed’ himself as a virgin, as he wants to make a stand against the ‘casual’ way his generation treats sex.
‘I believe that sex is an incredibly strong symbol of love between two people. Think of it as glue. Once you have had sex with someone, you’re connected to them emotionally and physically,’ he explained, in his school’s newspaper The Wellingtonian. ‘If you tear that bond, the rip leaves open scars where the glue once was. That’s why “casual sex” never works in the long term.’
He did admit though that it’s not easy to not be easy. ‘It takes a lot of self-discipline. There have been times I have been in a position where I could have gone and had sex with someone. I have had to step back and say, “No, I am going to regret it.”’
But according to The Times, Phin isn’t that unusual – because boys his age aren’t actually as sex-keen as he thinks. The percentage of boys aged 15-24 who are virgins rose from 22 in 2002 to 27 in 2011.
Still that hasn’t stopped the teenager going public. ‘One of the reasons I decided to go public is I am at the top of the school now and I can look down and see there is so much pressure on younger pupils to have sex. I would say 90 per cent of people are drunk when they lose their virginity. It doesn’t make them happy and it upsets me to see it.’
And he really insists it’s those who are putting it about who are suffering: ‘The people sleeping around are the unhappy ones.’
Batting away the cynics who could suggest that, in a massive wallop of reverse psychology, he’s simply saying he’s a virgin so that girls fawn over him, attracted to the challenge of changing his morals, he explained: ‘I have never seen any evidence that girls are interested in that sort of challenge. I want to wait until I have met someone who knows me and I love them.’
Aw. As judgy as parts of what he’s saying might seem, you’ve got to salute him for sending out a message that deciding to lose your virginity should be a big deal – and that it’s OK to wait. Because while we had no idea he represents a quarter of British boys in his age group, we reckon there’s a big difference between him and most of them.
He’s proud of his virginity.
Follow Sophie on Twitter @sophwilkinson
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.