I first looked into surrogacy 11 years ago, after seeing a documentary on TV about surrogacy - I knew pretty quickly this was something I would like to do to help people. Being a single mum to my son, my family was complete for me. However, I didn’t want my pregnancy journey to end and fertility and pregnancy had always fascinated me. I wanted to help all the people out there wanting a family but struggling to achieve that themselves.
I thought this was the perfect route to go down. After googling surrogacy at work, within a few hours I was signed up to an agency and emailed a whole stack of intended parents' profiles to look though. It made me slightly uncomfortable to choose. However, I was drawn to one particular couple and contracts were signed (this happened very quickly which is different today) and within a few days a time was arranged to meet with them. I went down the traditional route which means using my own eggs which is done by home insemination or a place where everyone feels comfortable.
Soon after this, the agency looking after my journey closed down, so we muddled through ourselves. On the third attempt I was really shocked to find out I was pregnant, this was the third month of trying.
After feeling really sick, which I had not experienced previously, and with no agency expertise and support, I took myself to a scan with a friend as I feared something was wrong. To my shock I found out I was having twins. Fortunately, the pregnancy went well and at 37 weeks I was induced and delivered a heathy baby boy and baby girl. It was the most amazing experience of my life - one I cannot put into words. Seeing the couples faces holding their babies for the first time is a moment I will never forget. Again, we muddled through the paperwork and the parental order was completed, however this started to sow the seed of me wanting to help others on their journeys - I knew I was hooked on surrogacy.
Within a year I had delivered another healthy girl at home, after which I decided to take a rest and look into how I could support others. My friend Ursula, who had watched and supported me through my journeys, kept encouraging me to have the confidence to start a non-profit agency helping others, as all I ever did was talk about my experiences.
Then I met another intended parent, this time it was a doctor in the fertility world looking for a gestational surrogate. Gestational surrogacy is when the surrogate carries the baby via Embryo transfer, so the baby will not be biologically linked to the surrogate. The embryos are created by a donor or are the intended parent’s own genetics depending on the situation.
This opened up a whole new unknown world of fertility to me. It gave me a huge empathy and a greater understanding of what people go through physically and emotionally to try to become parents.
After a series of tests, scans, counselling, background, and health checks I got accepted by the clinic and the journey began. The hormone injections the night before a scan, the nerves waiting on blood results and the cocktail of medication you take just to get you transfer ready is emotional roller coaster in itself.
After only experiencing smooth pregnancies up until this point, it came as a huge surprise when I found out that this time, the pregnancy was ectopic. I had internal bleeding and my tube was about to rupture and I was taken into emergency surgery to remove the growing pregnancy and right fallopian tube.
After a brief rest and coming to terms with what happened, we all felt ready to try again and sadly the second transfer failed. Finally on the third transfer and a long exhausting journey we got the amazing news that I was pregnant again with twins. Sadly at eight weeks I experienced vanishing twin syndrome, which I actually did not realise is a common thing to happen - not many people know about it as they would not usually have such early scans.
I went on to have an uncomplicated pregnancy with a baby boy - his delivery was not what I had experienced before, after a four-day induction it ended in emergency caesarean, resulting in us both contracting sepsis. After about a week the baby was healthy enough to go home and is now a healthy happy toddler. I experienced some complications and a long journey to recovery and when I became well enough, I went home.
All the experiences I went through, good, and bad, it led me to founding Nappy Endings with my friend Ursula.
I felt even though not all my journeys had been smooth I would take the difficult parts and use them to help people, and the good parts to inspire people.
There are many misconceptions surrounding surrogacy - the biggest one being “What if the surrogate runs off with the baby?” However, in all my years of being in the surrogacy world, I have never seen anything close to this happening.
I think the drama and misconceptions are fuelled by soap operas, the clue being in the name. For me Nappy Endings is my chance every day to continue doing what I love - supporting and helping others.
So much has changed since I began, with everyone being completely background checked medically, physically, and mentally before even joining the agency. We differ from many agencies by doing the introduction of surrogates and intended parents ourselves, as I feel it gives everyone a fair chance to meet their surrogate with no judgment on what their story is that led them to surrogacy.
I feel that everyone has the right to be a parent and I feel it is a privilege to be a part of everyone’s journey to parenthood. We are a small boutique agency who keep it simple, we are available 24/7 to support both parents and surrogates. I know first-hand that there can be bumps in the road and I fully understand the emotional roller-coaster ahead of both the intended parents and the surrogates, I also know that surrogacy is most amazing thing and only wish it was spoke about more.
Who knows whether I will carry another pregnancy myself - I will never say never, but I will continue helping others through Nappy Endings both in the UK and US for as long as I possibly can.
READ MORE: The Heartbreaking Truth About How It Feels When The UK’s Surrogacy Laws Have Failed You