We don’t talk about Bruno, no, no, no. The insanely catchy tune from Encanto has become the first ever original Disney song to score a double by topping both the UK singles chart and America’s Billboard Hot 100 - outperforming even Let It Go from Frozen. Si, si, it's that teeth-grindingly ubiquitous.
Composed by Hamilton genius Lin-Manuel Miranda, We Don't Talk About Bruno is a gossipy, salsa-tinged ensemble number telling how magical Uncle Bruno’s gift for prophecy got him ostracised from the Madrigal family. Encanto-mania has spread like wildfire since the Colombia-set animation dropped on Disney+ this Christmas. The tune has been living rent-free in viewers’ heads ever since.
WDTAB, as nobody calls it, wasn’t even supposed to be the film’s signature song. That was soppy ballad Dos Orguitas, the one entered for next month’s Oscars race. This minor detail hasn’t stopped primary schoolers worldwide crooning We Don't Talk About Bruno non-stop, driving nearby adults to distraction.
Here are 10 more highly contagious songs which kids love but which, via repeated exposure, might well make their parents go nuts…
Baby Shark
Call it Crazy Frog for the next generation. Baby Shark had been around for decades as a campfire song but went full nuts when a South Korean dance version became a viral phenomenon. Last month, terrifyingly, it became the first YouTube video to reach 10 billion views. You can’t even escape by watching grown-up comedy Ted Lasso, where it’s used as a chant for footballer Jamie Tartt. Baby shark is so annoying, it’s been played on a loop in the US to deter vagrants and torture prisoners. No, really.
Let It Go
The original Disney earworm, which has now (finally!) been overtaken by Bruno. The emo showtune from Frozen, belted out by Broadway star Idina Menzel, was originally released in 2013 but took the following five years to gradually conquer the planet like a massive sky-blue monster. The cathartic ballad (it was originally listed in the script as "Elsa's Badass Song”) won an Oscar, a Grammy and created a generation of resentful parents who never wanted to see snow, a pale blue princess dress or an Olaf toy ever again.
The Wheels On The Bus
The ultimate in earwormy nursery songs, guaranteed to be stuck in your head, going round and round, allllll daaaaaay looooong. Rivalled only by Row, Row, Row Your Boat for sheer repetitive brain-rottage.
Roar
Jungle animals + fiendish melody = kiddie crack. Katy Perry’s power-pop hit is a girl-powered anthem, like Let It Go clad in leopard print. It was the first female pop video in YouTube's history to reach 3 billion views. Virtually compulsory on primary school disco playlists, alongside Uptown Funk, Shake It Off and Despacito.
Paw Patrol
Who’s your fave: Chase, Marshall, Skye, Rubble or, um, one of the less memorable residents of Adventure Bay? Whaddayamean, you loathe them all? The animated Canadian canines are in permanent rotation on Channel 5 and Nick Jr. Top scientists are currently split on which is more vexatious: the theme tune (“Whenever you're in trouble / We’ll be there on the double”) or pup-crazed kids’ endless pleas for “merch”.
Gangnam Style
Traumatised by the sight of toddlers singing “Heeeeeey sexy lady!” while riding an invisible horse? Then you’ve fallen victim to evil K-Pop genius Psy and could be entitled to £££ in compensation. Even a certain politician dancing to it on Strictly eventually became irritating. Oppa Ed Balls style!
I Like To Move It
Back in the 90s, Reel 2 Real's ragga anthem (feat. vocals from Mad Stuntman, fact fans) was one of those novelty Euro-hits that somehow follow you home from your summer holiday. Fast forward a decade and it became the signature tune of the Madagascar film franchise, sung by senior lemur King Julien while his CGI pals throw shapes. Blame Borat because it’s performed by Sacha Baron Cohen. Is not nice! I don’t like you!
Chuggington
Chuggers: not to be confused in this case with charity muggers. The CBeebies franchise - essentially a more shiny, less weird update of Thomas The Tank Engine - is beloved by train-mad toddlers, who take sadistic pleasure in pestering their parents with the theme song. Honk your horns! Clackety-clack! Chugga chugga chugga chugga Chuggington! Throw some leaves on the line and make it stop.
Everything Is Awesome
There’s only one thing more annoying than accidentally stepping on a stray Lego brick in bare feet and that’s The Lego Movie’s theme song. Donald Trump-alike villain President Business uses the infernally catchy tune to brainwash everybody in Bricksburg. Long-suffering parents know exactly how they feel. Even the title is styled in an annoying way: "Everything Is AWESOME!!!” No, it isn’t. Shut up, pimpled plastic brick people.
The Fox (What Does The Fox Say?)
“But there's one sound / That no one knows / What does the fox say?” The novelty dance-pop irritant by Norwegian sibling comedy duo Ylvis proved catnip (or should that be foxnip?) to pre-schoolers. Even the spin-off picture book became a globe-conquering, parent-tormenting hit. For fox sake.
What have we missed? Let us know your own musical bête noire. But be warned: don’t mentally sing it to yourself or it’ll never go away…