Turns out a pandemic might actually be the best time to have twins.
“No, we don’t make jokes here,” said the technician at my 12 week scan. And with that, I found out that scan lols is not a thing. And we were having twins. In the middle of a pandemic.
To say it was a surprise is an understatement. There is no family history of twins. But turns out being older - I’m 41 - means there’s a higher chance of so-called “multiples”. Who knew? Not me.
The night before I’d been joking with my husband, Matt, that it was good we’d got pregnant before lockdown – two months of homeschooling our toddler while working from home had made us question if we were mad to want another one. Now we were facing three under three. And wondering how we’d ever cope.
At that point, we never expected that most of my pregnancy and our twin daughters’ entire lives so far would be spent in lockdown.
Thanks to repeated lockdowns there’s been no pressure I should be doing anything other than gaining PHD level knowledge of Married At First Sight Australia.
I would not have wished this on anyone. But looking back on the last year, during which I spent it all either pregnant or with two newborns and a toddler, I’ve come to realise that a pandemic might actually have been the best time to have twins.
We were fortunate that I had a straightforward pregnancy – that Matt was able to attend.
We are also fortunate that Matt is able to work from home. Pre-lockdown he would be out of the house at 7.30am and not come home til early evening. I’d been so worried about how I would deal with twins and a toddler on my own, even with our son in nursery.
It’s actually been really nice that Matt has got to spend more time with our daughters. And the fact I can pass him a baby has made it much more manageable. We’ve also been lucky his employer has been very relaxed about babies joining his zoom calls. Props to his boss who has regularly ignored a baby puking on his shoulder, so as to not to put him off his stride.
A pandemic also means no FOMO. When I found out it was twins, I grieved for my upcoming maternity leave. With my son I’d had so much fun, day-time drinking with other mum friends, hanging out in parks, going to galleries with him just chucked in the sling. How would I manage that with two? Thanks to repeated lockdowns no one’s been able to go out and there’s been no pressure that I should be doing anything other than gaining PHD level knowledge of Married At First Sight Australia.
Less going out also means less comments from “well wishers”. Ask any multiple parent and they will tell you that there’s something about seeing a twin buggy that makes strangers suddenly feel it’s ok to pass comment: “Double trouble”, “You’ve got your hands full” “IVF?”. I totally get that people are excited by twins - but funnily enough - when you’ve got two babies and the sleep deprivation that goes with it - these are not the most helpful things to hear.
Then there are the kinder strangers who tell you how amazing you are - but you can tell from the look of wonder and fear on their face, that they’re just relieved it’s not them. I know that face, I pulled it at other twin mums before I became one.
I have actually felt sorry for people who have had single babies during this time. The few mums I have seen are worried that their babies have never seen anyone else. Whereas my two get to socialise with each other every day. And a purchase of two cheap disco lights, means we can have our own baby sensory classes whenever we want – but with better music. They are also great to dance around after a few margaritas on a Friday night.
Don’t get me wrong. I cannot wait for lock down to end. For our families to properly meet our daughters and for life to get back to some kind of normal.
I know we’ve been incredibly lucky that we or our friends and family haven’t been sick. But while most people’s lives have been in limbo, we’ve had one of the most life-changing years. And looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing.