We’ve called on some of the UK’s most experienced parenting experts to give their very best fail-safe tips to new and expectant parents to help them on their way to become happy, healthy parents with a happy, healthy baby.
All of these experts will also be speaking at The Baby Show, which returns to Olympia London 20th – 22nd October 2023.
Advice on birth preparation
Midwife Zoe Watson says: 'Remember that you're the boss of your body! Take the time to research your options when it comes to the care of you and your baby. Being informed about each decision will help you feel calm and in control. Communicating your preferences with your partner and healthcare professionals is also extremely important.'
Cathy Tabner, Midwife from My Expert Midwife says: 'Expect the unexpected, birth plans may get changed, 40% of first-time mums are offered an induction, 30% of births are c-sections. It's a good idea to have plan A for a physiological (natural) birth as well as Plan B for an induction and plan C for a c-section.'
Marie-Louise Hurworth, The Modern Midwife says: 'Make sure that you build in support for yourself. Your support network can be through professionals, family members or friends. Often parents will focus on pregnancy and birth but then the fourth trimester hits and they feel like they can’t ask for help. Make a list of support numbers and reliable websites that you put on the fridge or save in your notes in your phone that you can use at 3am in the morning.
'Choose and use your visitors wisely. Visitors should only be coming to support parents and you should never feel ashamed or afraid to ask for the things that really matter. So, babygrows are cute, flowers are lovely but, actually what new parents really need is a hot meal. So, ask in advance for them to bring something to eat – something that will help the household.'
Cathy agrees, adding: 'It’s common to receive fresh flowers as a gift but for a newborn’s immature immune system, pollen is an allergen. Flag up to family and friends not to send fresh flowers, a homemade lasagne work better than lilies!'
Jenni Dunman from Daisy First Aid says: 'Baby proof and prepare. Look into baby-proofing your home before your baby is born or on the move. It’ll be the one less things to worry about later. Similarly, book a Daisy First Aid parent class before your baby arrives. Knowledge and confidence is vital should you need to help your little one in an emergency.'
Advice on the fourth trimester
The fourth trimester is the first three months of a baby’s life.
Sarah Patel, Sleep Expert and founder of Teach to Sleep says: 'In the early few days and weeks, focus your energy on feeding your baby, rather than getting into any kind of sleep routine. This is because for the first couple of months of your baby’s life they will have a very immature circadian rhythm (internal body clock) so they won’t know the difference between day and night.'
Rachel FitzD is a baby and parenting expert and author of Your Baby Skin to Skin. She encourages new parents to let the love grow: 'It’s lovely if it is instant love when you first meet your baby, but it isn’t always like that. Sometimes instead of “Oh my word, you’re amazing and I love you so much!” It’s more like “Oh! Ok. You’re a bit funny looking and maybe kinda cute but you don’t really feel like mine. I’m not actually sure how I feel about you…” That’s normal and ok. We get on and do all the practical stuff we need to do because we simply can’t ignore our baby’s cries even if we don’t feel any love for them initially. And then, bit by bit, evolution works its magic and we feel a little spark ignite. Then, over the first few months that tiny spark grows and grows until we suddenly realise we are deeply in love. Some relationships just take time to blossom.'
Heidi Skudder, Sleep expert and founder of Positively Parenting says: 'In the early days and weeks, your baby’s sleep is directly linked to their comfort levels. Wind is one of the biggest causes of a baby who will not settle or sleep! Contrary to the popular myth, all babies need winding including breastfed babies! Spend time before, during and after a feed winding and both your sleep and baby will thank you for it!'
Charlotte Stirling-Reed, child nutritionist and author of How to Feed Your Family says: 'Everything is a phase - When times get a bit tricky or you're struggling with something, it's always worthwhile remembering that "everything is a phase". I always remembered being so sucked into worries, around sleep or a rash or a baby with separation anxiety. It's all a phase and you'll get through it and onto the next thing in no time.
'Whenever you can, soak up help from friends, family and health care professionals. It's SO easy to feel like we have to do it all to be good parents and have to "power through". But this is one of the most fragile times of your life and a really challenging stage, that will pass. Use the help when you need it.'
Will Dooley, Obstetric doctor, dad-of-three and founder of Happy Parents Happy Baby Antenatal classes says: 'Find good sources of information. Pregnancy and parenting tips are seemingly everywhere – at times this can feel overwhelming or make it difficult to know what information to trust. Social media can open our eyes to so many things, but always check the credentials of who you are following – are they sharing opinion or evidence-based information? Try not compare how well you think you are doing (or not doing) with others online. Remember that social media rarely paints the full picture.”
Midwife Pip (www.midwifepip.com / @midwife_pip) says: 'Know that your gut instincts are a parenting superpower. Never ignore them as they are very likely to be right and you will become the best expert in your baby very quickly so allow yourself to trust your intuition and express your feelings as valid and important when seeking external support or advice.'
Gem & Eve, Founders of Calm & Bright Sleep Support say: 'There is no such things a bad habits. Ignore anyone who warns you that you’ll make a rod for your own back if you offer high-level comfort to aid your baby in sleep. The best sleepers build a strong attachment in the first six months. Rock, hold, baby-wear and comfort feed your baby to your heart’s content. Your baby’s future sleep will be even better for it.'
Marie-Louise Hurworth, The Modern Midwife says: 'Buy a baby sling or a baby carrier which is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your baby in the fourth trimester – those first three months as they’ll settle really well being close to you and it supports bonding between parent and baby.'
Advice for when the baby is a little older
Annabel Karmel, MBE, the UK’s No. 1 children’s cookery author and food expert says: 'Offer soft finger foods from six months. Babies love to play and explore, and offering them a variety of soft finger foods from six months will keep little hands busy, get them used to different textures and encourage self-feeding. They will need to be able to close their hand around the food so it’s best to start with pieces that are big enough for your baby to hold in their fist with some sticking out. Fairly long pieces (roughly 5–7cm) stand a better chance of being picked up. Try avocado wedges, banana ‘lollipops’, mango slices, steamed carrot batons and broccoli florets for starters.'
Dr Robert Titzer, infant researcher from The Infant Learning Company says that the more you talk to your baby, the more likely your child will have better language skills: 'The more words spoken to a child by the age of three, the more words understood by the child at age 11 (Hart & Risley, 1995). The number of words was a better predictor of the size of the child’s vocabulary than the parents’ IQs, family socioeconomic status, or the school the child attended. More recent studies show that babies in better language environments in the first 18 months of life not only understand more words at age three, but they also have faster brain processing speeds. So teach your child as many words as possible as early on.
'You can help by describing your baby’s senses. Talk about what your baby is looking at, hearing, tasting, touching, and smelling. Infant researchers often think of movement as a sense for babies, so also narrate how your child is moving. For example, say, “You are putting your arms up!” as your baby does the action, then say, “You put your arms up!” while stressing the “arms up” part and demonstrating the meaning by putting your arms up.'
Midwife Pip adds: 'Avoid the trap of comparison. A degree of comparison is natural as a new parent, but it needs to be kept in check so that it doesn’t turn into an unhealthy habit that is detrimental to you and your baby. You are unique individuals and there is a wide range of normality through sleep and milestones that every parent and baby will navigate in their own way and at their own pace.'
Tickets to The Baby Show are now on sale – www.thebabyshow.co.uk