I love a celebrity birth announcement. The unbridled joy, the serotonin, the carefully selected Instagram outfit, those teeny tiny socks. And when Stacy Solomon revealed that she gave birth to her first daughter at home this week, it filled me with even more warmth inside. Not because homebirths need to be ‘normalised’ (every type of birth is normal), but because it is so lovely to see a woman who has given birth relaxed at home in her own environment. And for those – like me - who have had pleasant home births, it reminds them just how wonderful they can be.
Solomon, who is engaged to actor Joe Swash, has previously described labour as ‘utter hell’. In 2008, she gave birth to her first son Zachary, which she later revealed involved a ‘gruelling 72 hours’ and was ‘one of the most horrendous experiences of my life’.
For some mothers, a home birth can be a way to rewrite the narrative on previous birth trauma. And seeing the images of Stacey, who also has 9-year-old Leighton and 2-year-old Rex, at home, cuddling her newborn, is a beautiful reminder that labour and birth are wonderful things.
Home birth is not an easy decision to make and there are, obviously, many factors and complications to consider. But my own labour at home with my son last year was one of my greatest memories of 2020, amidst a stressful year and following a personal hospital trauma from 2019.
I had never even considered a home birth when I had my first child in 2018. I felt like I needed the guidance of a hospital setting, the birth went smoothly, I delivered in water, and I felt like superwoman and assumed the next time I would give birth it would go exactly the same way.
Sadly our second pregnancy was nowhere near similar, and I was left to my own devices while giving birth to (deceased) 13 week old twins in a hospital room, with nurses congratulating me on my pregnancy. The trauma I experienced made me fearful of hospital births.
I didn’t want to relive or revisit that journey in any shape or form. With my next pregnancy, I mentioned a home birth to my midwife at around the 30 week mark and they looked surprised, but not resistant (I think in Covid times the option was more prevalent) and after a phone call with the midwife where I kept saying, ‘I’m not sure I’m allowed a homebirth’, she interrupted me to say, ‘It’s your body and child, you can have any birth you want’. That’s not to say all home births go ahead (there’s a plethora of reasons why you would still need to go to hospital), but this one phrase made me feel in control and that I could do it.
We chose to have the birth in our living room with a pool, but we ended up having to buy one because there weren’t any left to rent in our area (a combination of leaving it too late and an increase in demand for home birthing pools), which we then donated to a home birthing support charity afterwards. Along with towels, waterproof sheets, a torch, and other items on a list of essentials given to us by the midwife, we set the pool up in our living room a week before my due date. There was something lovely about knowing everything was ready, if and when I needed it. No panicking about getting to the hospital, or worrying whether there would be an Uber available, whether I would have to wear my mask in labour, or would my husband have to leave me alone. Or who would look after our daughter. I would add here, however, that even if you are positive you want a home birth with every fibre in your body, you have the right to change your mind at any point and go to a hospital - it’s your birth after all.
While my home birth wasn’t exactly ‘zen’ (a home birth doesn’t necessarily mean a pain-free free one – I still screamed, ‘Oh my God why does it hurt so much?’ at my husband while I begged for more gas and air), but after a quick labour, I got out of the pool, walked over to the sofa and laid there with a towel and my son on my chest for an hour while the midwives tidied up and sorted paperwork and admin.
Another hour later we were alone and ordered pizza and I still hadn’t moved from the sofa, when my husband passed me the remote to watch my favourite trash TV (Below Deck) and we walked up to bed when we were ready. We woke up the next morning, just us, and it was unlike anything I had envisioned, which was (for me) a great thing. I have often been hesitant to share my birth story, as I’ve never wanted to be the smug person where everything goes smoothly - life isn’t like that after all - but I do also think that the more positive birth stories we read can help empower us and change the narrative, too.