From glowing Instagram reveal announcements to celebrities’ fashionably dressing their bumps, it’s easy to assume everyone else’s pregnancies are fun, panic-free and calm. But as with anything on social media, reality isn’t always as it seems. In fact, many women experience pregnancy anxiety, which can involve anything from unsubstantiated worries to intrusive thoughts. Postnatal depression is well known, but maternal anxiety is far less talked about and needs to be recognised, according to Dr Fiona Challacombe, co-author of the new book Break Free from Maternal Anxiety, which she wrote with Dr Catherine Green and Dr Victoria Bream.
The women are experienced practitioners in perinatal mental health and know treatments can work really well but they felt frustrated they only ever help a proportion of people coming through services. So, they wrote a book to give more people access to the resources they have, using their tried and tested principles. And it couldn’t come at a better time: Fiona says there’s plenty of evidence that shows the pandemic and the impact of lockdowns have made the past two years a very tough period for perinatal women. The key thing to remember? It might feel like you’re alone but you’re definitely not.
Maternal anxiety - the signs
-Anxiety is something most people will experience here and there in their pregnancy, but if you feel your anxiety is out of proportion, persistent or getting in the way of things, Fiona says that’s a sign there might be something going on that you might want to adjust.
-Worrying and asking “what if?” ‘If you find yourself stuck [worrying about what will happen in pregnancy and in birth], asking lots of “what if?” questions and you’re seeking reassurance but it’s not reassuring you, that’s a clue the anxiety is over and above what you might expect,’ Fiona says.
-If you have intrusive thoughts that involve you causing some kind of deliberate harm to your child.
Five key pieces of advice
Understanding where your worry is coming from and what’s keeping it going. Fiona says there are good reasons why certain things might come up. For example, if you’ve had a complicated pregnancy journey it would make sense that you’re having anxious thoughts. If the problem is worrying uncontrollably, one technique is to try and schedule your worry time, so you’re not allowed to think of the thought until the time you have set. ‘When you get to that time people often don’t want to actually spend the time worrying, but it’s a good exercise to try, to get that control over the “what if?” questions that tend to go nowhere,’ says Fiona. (It should be said this is not in place of medical care or if you are experiencing a symptom you need to get checked out).
Asking whether there is any truth to your worry. ‘Remember that if something pops into your mind it doesn’t always mean it’s fact or true,’ says Fiona. ‘Even if you have an image of something going wrong, it’s an anxious thought, it’s not a premonition.’
Check out your fears as much as possible. For example, if you’re worried about what will happen if your baby cries at a baby class or out in public, go to the class, it might not be as bad as you think. ‘Anxiety loves stopping people from trying things out. Test things out gently,’ says Fiona. ‘Don’t just stick with your thoughts.’
Intrusive thoughts are very common. Fiona says it doesn’t mean you want to go through with the act, and knowing how common these thoughts can be can really help you make sense of what is happening.
Be compassionate to yourself. ‘It’s not your fault if you’re anxious,’ says Fiona.
If you’re struggling with perinatal anxiety there are a number of charities on hand to help. Maternal OCD - co-founded by two mothers, Maria Bavetta and Diana Wilson, who have experienced and recovered from extreme perinatal obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
Maternal Mental Health Alliance, which brings together lots of charities working in this space.
Bliss supports the families of babies in neonatal care and works with health professionals to provide training and improve care for babies.
Break Free from Maternal Anxiety: A Self-Help Guide for Pregnancy, Birth and the First Postnatal Yearis out now (£12.99).