Here’s Why You Should Ditch The Guilt About Your Kids Playing Video Games

Get involved and ditch the guilt, says Ellie Gibson – games expert and one-half of comedy duo Scummy Mummies.

Kids gaming guilt

by Ellie Gibson |
Updated on

For more parenting stories, advice, tips and memes, check out Grazia's new parenting community on Instagram, @TheJuggleUK

For some parents, being at home with kids all day seems to be a doddle. They’re always posting about Jude practising the violin, or how marvellously Meredith’s Mandarin is coming along. Oh look, here’s a scale model of Machu Picchu, constructed out of old hummus pots and spelt pappardelle by our darling Merlin and his brother, Brioche. Oh, bugger off.

For most of us, the reality is different. The hours are filled with endless arguments about schoolwork, screen time, and whether 12 packets of crisps in one day is too many. And to help us get through it all, we’re spending more time online than ever.

Connectivity provider TalkTalk has undertaken research which shows 37% of parents say fast, reliable internet is more important than ever, while internet usage on their network rose by 50% last year. And only a small percentage of that was me doing Google image searches for “topless Jason Mamoa.”

Much of the increase is down to the rise in popularity of online gaming. From Fortnite and Fall Guys to Minecraft and Mario Kart, it’s never been easier to compete and co-operate with other players over the internet. My own children are spending more time than ever immersed in virtual worlds, and as both a gamer and a mum, I’m fine with that. If you’re feeling bad about your kids playing video games, I say: ditch the guilt and let them get on with it.

Ellie Gibson
©Ellie Gibson

Of course, I’m not saying you should let your child play for 14 hours a day, any more than I’d suggest you serve them ice cream for every meal. (Despite the fact I may have adopted this diet myself on one or more particularly difficult homeschooling days. Whatever gets you through.) As with all things, it’s about balance.

Nor am I going to pretend that games will give your child such amazing hand-eye co-ordination they’ll become heart surgeons by the time they’re 15. But play is a hugely important part of our development, and games can teach us useful lessons about working together, failure, problem-solving, and perseverance. Personally, I’d rather my kids were using their brains to interact with what’s unfolding on the screen than staring blankly at YouTube or Netflix, like me.

There’s also the social aspect. When I was growing up, I mainly played games in my bedroom, alone or with my brother. Now they are a place where my son can hang out with his friends, where they can chat and socialise. And yes, OK, shoot each other. But with things as they are, I have never been more grateful for this virtual space where he can have fun and let off steam with his mates.

I understand that if you’re not a gamer yourself, this brave new world can seem daunting. You’re not alone - according to a TalkTalk, 45% of parents rated their gaming knowledge as either poor or terrible, and over 70% admitted they’re confused by the language their kids are using.

But it’s worth taking the time to show an interest and get involved. I’m not saying you have to learn all the lingo - although, if you do want to familiarise yourself with some gaming terms, top YouTuber Ali-A and I have provided this handy explainer. Have a gander and you’ll be proving you’re not a noob by calling your child a camper and thanking her for a GG in no time.

Games can be a great way to bond with your kids, especially if you’re playing a fun multiplayer offering like Overcooked or Just Dance. But if your kids roll their eyes at the suggestion of a family game session, stick with what they’re interested in. Sit down with them, watch what they’re playing, and ask them how it works. Give it a go yourself. It doesn’t matter if you’re rubbish, it will give them a good laugh.

What have you got to lose? At worst, they’ll know you made an effort, and you’ll have a better idea of what they’re up to. At best, you might discover you have a new lockdown hobby - one that’s a lot more thrilling than making sourdough.

Ellie Gibson has teamed up with connectivity provider TalkTalk to help parents make sense of gaming slang. She’s been a games journalist for over 20 years and now co-hosts the Extra Life gaming podcast. She is on Instagram @elliegibsongames and @scummymummies.

For more stories like this, follow Grazia's Parenting community The Juggle on Instagram @TheJuggleUK

Just so you know, we may receive a commission or other compensation from the links on this website - read why you should trust us