My cursor hovers over the ‘book now’ button. I’ve selected the date and time, I’ve typed in my card details but in the end, I snap shut my laptop lid and leave the toddler music class unbooked.
It’s just over two weeks since the government’s lockdown easing meant that indoor parent and child classes could resume in England, after being out of action for months. These events can be a lifeline to parents. A friendly smile or the briefest exchange with another mum can make all the difference when you’re knackered with a newborn, or if you’d just quite like your energetic toddler to make a mess of somewhere that isn’t your home. Since I had my first son in 2016, I have made brilliant friends from turning up to mother and baby yoga classes, activities in community centres and swimming lessons.
My youngest son is approaching his 2nd birthday and I thought I'd be really keen to get back to music/movement/sensory groups, or invite a mum mate over to the garden. But, actually, I find myself holding off.
Post-lockdown anxiety has been widely reported on and, after months of staring at the same four walls - or, in my case, shivering in the same four playgrounds - some of us feel that we’ve forgotten how to socialise. In a recent survey for Anxiety UK, 46% of people said they’re concerned about the pressures of socialising as we inch back towards something like normal life. I certainly feel this to some extent but I have also realised that my reluctance to plan any meet-ups in this climate is based on something I have felt for a while, certainly long before the pandemic.
As a working parent, the days that I have with my toddler are precious. While it’s lovely to spend time hanging out with other parents, it can be just as nice not to have a plan.
While lockdown with small children is, shall we say, challenging, I have also come to value one-to-one time with my son and I don’t want to replace that with a diary full of commitments. When you're at a class or on a playdate with another family, you're so busy trying to make sure that your child hasn’t got their fingers in their nappy/another child’s eye/someone else’s bag of rice cakes, that the time passes in a blur.
In a Covid world, baby and parent classes are even more of an endurance test. In the classes I attended before the last lockdown, organisers work really hard to make the environment Covid-safe. Families are stationed two metres apart and you’re issued with an individual, sterilised kit of props for your offspring - ribbons/shakers/fancy dress and the like. In an ideal world, you and your child stay at your own station to maintain social distancing, but try telling that to a rampaging 21-month-old with an impressive determination to reach another child’s sippy cup.
As a working parent, the days that I have with my toddler are precious. While it’s lovely to spend time hanging out with other parents, it can be just as nice not to have a plan. See where the day takes you. Read The Very Hungry Caterpillar five times in a row, if you like. Like any realm of your social life, socialising with your parent hat on can bring with it a sense of FOMO. You worry about missing out, so you pack in the activities and get to the end of the week feeling exhausted.
Right now, I want to do things differently, take a slower approach to socialising as a parent. I’m sure it won’t be long before my son and I are sitting on a sticky church hall floor, belting out The Wheels on the Bus with a load of other families. Just not yet.