It takes a village to raise a child, a phrase often quoted but one I just didn’t truly understand the profound weight of until the birth of my first son. Largely because, what village? Where was it? Why wasn’t I in it? Then it dawned on me. It was never meant as a gentle metaphor. It was a statement of survival: no one, least of all a new mother, was ever expected to do this alone.
And yet in 2025 so many of us are doing exactly that. Relocations for work or lifestyle, reducing group spaces, and the slow erosion of local community ties mean that mothers in their first year, particularly in that fragile fourth trimester, often find themselves isolated, sleep-deprived, and convinced they’re alone in their struggle. That absence, that aching gap where the village should be, is what drove me to create Peanut. And it’s why I’ve written It Takes a Village, And Other Essential Truths for New Mothers.
It’s not a parenting manual. There are no perfect hacks. Instead, it’s a chorus of voices from women around the world - funny, raw, contradictory, and painfully honest. Because motherhood isn’t just about raising a baby, it’s about raising yourself into a mother. And nobody should have to do that alone.
We romanticise 'the glow' of new motherhood. The reality? A brutal freefall into the unknown. One mother I spoke to described leaving the hospital as 'going from being the most cared-for person in the building to being home with a baby who won’t sleep, stitches that won’t heal, and a body I didn’t recognise.' Another confessed to sitting in the nursery at 3 am, googling 'is it normal to feel like I made a mistake?' These aren’t failures. They’re truths. But because we don’t say them out loud, women believe they’re the only ones. And loneliness grows in that silence.
Then there’s the stuff we never share, the sticky stuff. Intrusive thoughts. Loss of intimacy. Resentment. Rage. Regret. One mum shared with me how shocked she was at the feeling of rage, hot, terrifying, unfamiliar, when her baby screamed for the sixth hour straight. Another spoke about sex after birth: the pain, the fear, her total lack of desire. Others told me about postnatal anxiety and obsessive checking that stole their sleep long after their babies finally closed their eyes. Uncomfortable? Yes. Necessary? Absolutely. Because when we name these things, we strip away the shame. Women realise they’re not fringe cases - they’re normal, common, treatable. And that’s when help gets sought, confidence returns, and mothers begin to thrive.
If you really want the sticky stuff, we are raising children without the infrastructure that every previous generation relied on. Families are scattered. Childcare costs more than rent. Communities feel like revolving doors. Regulative support hasn’t evolved with our needs, and yet the expectations on mothers have only inflated: be ambitious but endlessly patient, body-positive but 'bounce back,' glowing but grateful. No wonder 93% of mothers say they feel unseen. It’s a full time job to keep up with the contradictions. We’re exhausted, and invisible on top of it.
I have good news, though. The village isn’t gone, it’s just DIY now. Mothers in It Takes a Village talk about group chats that became lifelines, neighbours who swapped childcare, or the sheer bravery of starting small talk at a baby group with, 'We’ve had a shocker of a night, if you fancy a walk and a moan, I’m in.' That’s how villages are built in 2025. One message. One coffee. One brave hello. One connection won’t fix the sleepless nights, but it will change how you survive yours.
September sees the highest number of births in the UK. Which means right now, more women are becoming mothers than at any other point in the year. Tonight, thousands of them will be awake at 2am, staring at the ceiling, struggling and convinced they’re alone. To them, I want to say: you were never meant to do this solo. And you don’t have to. Share your truth, send the message, set up the coffee date. Because motherhood doesn’t take perfection, wealth, inner peace, 8 hours sleep, fancy stuff or a tidy home. It takes a village, and that village starts with just one.
This book is dedicated to any mother or mother-to-be. You’ll find unfiltered stories from real mums, honest, moving accounts from women across our community, expert guidance you can trust, practical tools for every stage (from the fourth trimester to the first day of nursery), and emotional support when you need it most. As my lovely friend Rochelle Hulmes said after reading it, 'This book is a rallying cry, a reminder that we’re all in this together.'
Motherhood was never supposed to be a one-woman show. Together, we can make sure it isn’t.
Michelle Kennedy is the founder and CEO of Peanutand author of It Takes a Village: And Other Essential Truths for New Mothers