Discovering that I was to embark on the path of single motherhood during my pregnancy raised all the expected, initial feelings of heartbreak, failure and slight embarrassment. It wasn't a path I consciously choose and in those initial moments, the weight of expectations I had put on my life and the fear of judgment pressed down on me.
Although I never doubted my ability to be a mum, I felt nervous about the situation and worried about the impact on my child’s life. That’s when I started writing. I knew that in the wild, mummy elephants take care of their babies just like a single parent. So I wrote a story about it, and I found that throwing myself into it worked like therapy. It was a distraction when I was feeling down, and it made me happy to know I was creating a book that I could read with my daughter to make her feel represented.
The outpouring of support, wisdom and empowerment from single mothers when I announced I was doing it solo filled me with strength and pride. Then the moment my beautiful daughter entered the world all the loneliness and sadness dissipated. Suddenly, my priorities shifted, and the opinions of others became mere background noise, drowned out by unconditional love for my child and the commitment I felt to shape a memorable childhood for Loretta. My life transformed into a journey of just us two, a shared journey of self-discovery and every shared laugh and 'I love you' became a testament to the strong connection we shared. Loretta showed me the true meaning of life, happiness, and love.
Since then, I have never harboured any regrets about the course my past has taken because we share a connection so profound that it seemed inconceivable for another person to fit into our world anyway. Our everyday lives together became a bubble that nobody could burst, and her first steps, words and accomplishments became exclusive memories for just us to share.
Become a single mother fuelled my determination to succeed, not just for myself but for the both of us. Therefore, naturally, there are challenging days as a working mum. As the option to lean on someone isn't always readily available. However, I consider myself extremely fortunate to have a close-knit family that has supported me through every step of motherhood. From my dad renovating my home amidst the challenges of pregnancy, to my mother organising sleepovers for Loretta and my siblings always volunteering to take her out for a special day. They have stepped in to help in so many ways. It’s true what they say, ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ and a village doesn’t have to be represented in a traditional way.
Ultimately, this has all taught me that life’s twists may divert us from expected paths, but it may also bring us unexpected happiness. Whilst I aspire to build a larger family for my daughter in the future, I will always cherish the time I spent as a single parent. I am a massive believer in destiny and this I believe was also meant to be mine.
I’d like to end this by sharing some advice to my fellow single mothers out there. I encourage you to wholeheartedly embrace the journey you are on, as it stands as a testament to you. Your path is not just an acknowledgment of your strength, but it is you’re your remarkable ability to navigate challenges. That in itself is a narrative that speaks volumes about your ability to overcome changes and emerge stronger on the other side. The biggest lesson I have learnt through this all… It goes beyond merely accepting a circumstance but encompasses the realisation that when life decides to rewrite a chapter, it is not an indication of the end of your story but the beginning of the one you were always meant to be a part of. This wasn’t the fairy-tale that I always dreamt of as a young girl, but it turns out that this story is so much better.
Mummy & Me by Lydia Bright and illustrated by Jojo Clinch (Puffin Books) is out 1 February 2024.