Louise Thompson Reveals She ‘Couldn’t Look’ At Fiancé After Birth Trauma

‘It was impossible to talk about things whilst still living in the terror, it was too raw. Too painful.’

Louise Thompson

by Alice Hall |
Updated on

In 2021, Louise Thompson went through one of the most difficult experiences of her life and as part of her healing process, she's started opening up to fans about the trauma that she went through.

In one of her many powerful and informative Instagram posts on the subject, the former Made in Chelsea star opened about how nearly dying while giving birth to her son Leo impacted her relationship with her fiancé Ryan Libbey.

Louise Thompson described her experience of the ‘medical events’ as a ‘mutual paralysis’, adding that both her and Ryan Libbey found it difficult to talk, ‘whilst still living in terror.’

Louise Thompson and Ryan Libbey
Louise Thompson and Ryan Libbey ©Getty

Describing herself as someone that could usually ‘talk the hind legs off a donkey’, Louise Thompson revealed that it was ‘alarming’ when she found herself unable to speak to her fiancé about her birth.

‘Ryan and I didn’t have a proper conversation for months and months after the trauma of having Leo. We didn’t talk at all. Very limited talking for the first 6 months of his life,’ she wrote. ‘We would sit in silence at our kitchen table every single evening. Couldn’t muster a peep. Couldn’t even look at his face.’

She also wrote about the disorientating experience of not recognising Ryan Libbey as ‘a person’ in her home, adding they only spoke about what happened over one year later. ‘It was impossible to talk about things whilst still living in the terror, it was too raw. Too painful.’

Louise Thompson has been refreshingly open about her battles with PTSD and postnatal anxiety since giving birth to Leo in November 2021. Alongside her mental health struggles, she has also been undergoing surgeries for Asherman’s Syndrome (a rare condition that causes scar tissue to build up in the uterus.)

She has also previously spoken about her experiences of these ‘ravaged’ her relationship with Ryan Libbey, adding ‘If we can survive this, we can survive anything.’

And last month, Louise Thompson shared her latest update on how she was coping with her PTSD at Leo's second birthday party, admitting that the day brought back a lot of difficult memories for her and Ryan Libbey.

'The million dollar question. How am I feeling? Happy. As you can see i’m looking really very happy here. It’s taken 2 awfully long years to get to this place, but I feel good,' she revealed.

In being so open about the highs and lows in her battle with PTSD, Louise Thompson has offered a glimmer of hope for parents going through similar struggles.

In another Instagram post, she revealed that the couple were able to communicate with each other while playing sport. Alongside a video of her and Ryan Libbey playing indoor tennis, she wrote ‘We find it easier to talk in passing, or over WhatsApp or when we don’t have to look each other in the eye. Playing tennis in the kitchen.’

It's true that sometimes the most honest conversations come at times when we least expect them. Research published in the Journal of Environmental Psychology found that it can be less stressful to talk to someone when you’re walking side by side, with minimal eye contact, than conversing face to face.

Binky Felstead, Louise Thompson and Rosie Fortescue
Former Made in Chelsea stars Binky Felstead, Louise Thompson and Rosie Fortescue ©Getty

Louise Thompson's honesty about her traumatic birthing experience comes as a breath of fresh air for women who have experienced the psychological tolls of a traumatic labour. There are limited studies on how postnatal PTSD can affect a couple’s relationship, partly due to the frustrating lack of recognition of the condition in mothers.

One 2017 review of seven studies found that childbirth-related PTSD can have a perceived negative impact on the couple relationship. The researchers identified themes such as negative emotions, lack of understanding and support, loss of intimacy, strain on the relationship, and strengthened relationships.

And it’s not just mothers who are affected. Research undertaken by The University of Oxford found evidence that fathers can experience PTSD after witnessing their partner go through a traumatic birth. Louise Thompson has also touched on Ryan Libbey’s experiences in her Instagram posts, writing that he felt emotional over the ‘experience that was robbed of us.’

Fans were quick to share how Louise Thompson’s honesty resonated with their own experiences. One user wrote in the comments ‘This happened in my relationship after hospital trauma. It’s taken time and patience on both sides for us to talk as we used to. Half the battle is knowing you want to communicate, if you’ve got that, the rest will come.’

Others related to the way the couple discuss their trauma, with one user commenting ‘My friend and her husband play tennis together and she says it’s where they have some of their best conversations and get their frustrations out.’

As she should, Louise Thompson recognised her own bravery in the post, writing ‘Gosh I’m strong for preserving.’ And, as she continues to open ups difficult conversations around trauma during childbirth, we can’t help but agree.

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