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A recent survey conducted by Mush (the app for friendship and advice) has shown that 80% of new mums think that lockdown will have a long-term effect on their baby. This is because their babies aren’t able to access new environments to learn, aren’t seeing extended family, aren’t playing with other babies and aren’t having enough different or new experiences.
“We see mums’ genuine worry that their baby will progress slower than that of a baby born outside Covid-times, and we know there needs to be more reassurance for mums that this is unlikely to be the case,” says Founder of Mush Katie Massie-Taylor.
Mums have expressed to us some specific worries about what this enforced isolation may mean for their little ones. They think that their babies will be more fussy around new people, be unable to build relationships with others, be more clingy than other children and generally suffer from low confidence socially. Other worries from mums are that their baby’s speech will be slow to develop, that they have more tantrums and that they will not be able to share.
Some reassurance for mums is that social behaviours are learned and the lack of contact so far in their lives will mean there will be a steep learning curve to assimilate when lockdown lifts and we all resume socialising again. Child psychologist Livvy Gormally says that this is all it will be though - a learning curve: “Behaviours are learned and unlearned all the time. Babies and smaller children will very quickly understand how to behave around others.”
Some mums pointed to positives of the pandemic on their babies - namely having a partner around to share the load and spend more quality time together. Other mums said that the impact was not going to be on their babies, but on themselves!
We have to remind mothers that they are doing a great job.
When the mums were asked how lockdown had affected them, over three quarters of the mums said they felt less confident as a mum because of lockdown. The toll of not speaking with others has led to mums questioning what they are doing, feeling burnt out and unsupported and feeling huge pressure to be the sole provider of entertainment for their baby.
“It breaks our hearts that the confidence of mums has been impacted in this way,” says Katie. “Feeling unsure of what you are doing is a very common feeling for every new mum and we know that once a mum understands that what she is going through is normal and common, she feels transformed. This shared experience is normally what mums get from chatting with other mums, sharing stories and questions over a cup of tea, and this is what the pandemic has removed from them. The ability to have these casual and confidence-boosting interactions with others is what we are all holding out for.”
When asked how they were feeling a lot of the same words come up time and time again. Some of these were: fragile, bored, low, anxious, stressed, tired, scared, impatient, down, depressed, sad, guilty, cut-off, hopeless, overwhelmed, frustrated, trapped and the one that came up time and time again- lonely.
“Loneliness affected 80% of mums pre-pandemic, so we know that the huge transition in life has a big part to play in the perception of feeling like you are doing something alone, as well as the actual removal from others that we are currently experiencing,” continues Katie. “This is why we have to remind mothers that they are doing a great job, and provide safe places for mums to chat with others virtually. Ultimately they should feel reassured that what they are going through is 100% normal.”
Mush is an app that unites pregnant and new mums- a friendly community that in normal world circumstances is responsible for the biggest and most frequent mum meet-ups around the UK. Responding to this survey, Mush has extended their ‘virtual meet-ups’ at 11am daily with experts and baby class providers, including a weekly coffee morning. You can join Mush for free by downloading the app here.
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