Parenting is a continual lesson in risk assessment and the hazards we’re faced with as modern parents are multifarious and somehow greater than ever before (oh to be an 80s mum where microplastics were something you wore on a night out).
There are the things you suspect aren’t going to maim them (eating the odd rice cake off the pavement) and those you’re fairly sure might (plug sockets and dog poop) but for the stuff in between, sometimes all you want are the cold, hard facts i.e. ‘is this going to seriously damage my kid?’
I wouldn’t say I’m on the hypervigilant, helicopter end of the parenting spectrum; I never did the baby-proofing thing despite our flat being what my friend determined to be a ‘baby biohazard’ (we have a lot of plants, glass and a treacherous spiral staircase which eluded any baby gate) - but I have found my three year old’s newly-discovered penchant for supping on bathwater a touch disconcerting.
For context, my three year old is usually the sensible one of the two. He tells me to ‘be careful’ when crossing the road and regularly berates his six year old brother for doing the things that I should probably step in and save himself from and yet he has recently developed a taste for bathwater. From out of nowhere, the tepid, grimy (how do they get so dirty, even with clothes on?) liquid I dunk both my boys in nightly has become the most irresistible elixir imaginable and you can see the mental anguish on his face as the internal conflict plays out; he knows full well (because I’m constantly telling him not to) that he shouldn’t and yet the allure is too much and he always manages a surreptitious swig before I haul him out.
The question is, exactly how worried should I be? Thank goodness for doom-scrolling is all I can say as it landed me on author, economist and mum of two Emily Oster’s Instagram profile (@profemilyoster) where her post ‘Is it dangerous for my kid to drink bathwater?’ instantly quashed my fears (her first line being ‘it’s gross but not dangerous’). Her bio describes her page as ‘data-driven pregnancy and parenting’ and that is exactly what you need in these instances; a no-nonsense coaxing down from the precarious ledge of ‘am I messing up in some way’?
She didn’t talk about the bath wash aspect in the video itself which is still a vague, residual fear but in her caption she does confirm ‘A little soap or mould from toys isn’t harmful, and diluted pee is no big deal. Eating a lot of poop can make you sick, but in small amounts, it isn’t toxic.’ Any anxiety about ingesting a bath wash cocktail was also assuaged by my inherent beauty editor knowledge that the minimal amount of Child’s Farm and Green People’s Organic Children products I use aren’t going to be enough to cause any harm as both are considered ‘non toxic’. I was however glad she tackled the subject of poop as with two bottoms in the bath - one of which is self-wiped -this was more of a concern as well as the mouldy bath toys which I tell myself every day I’m going to throw out and yet inevitably end up joining us for bathtime every night.
Still need convincing? This is exactly what she says;
“There are a lot of worries as parents here’s one you don’t need to worry about; kid’s drinking bathwater.
There are three things in the bath you might think about and one is water; good news as bathwater is the same as all the other water you drink in your house.
Thing number two; mould. It is absolutely true that your kids bath toys are full of mould. If you cut them up, which I did once, there is a lot of black mould inside, but good news; as long as your kid healthy and not immune compromised the mould is not going to hurt them. They can have a little bit of mould, it’s ok. If your bath toys are spewing mould maybe throw it away because that’s gross; get a new rubber duckie but don’t panic.
The third thing you might worry about is them eating poop. Maybe there was some poop on their butt, maybe one time they pooped in the bath. Good news, as long as your kid doesn’t eat more than a mouthful of poop it’s really not something to worry about. So a little bit of mould, a little bit of poop, a little bit of bathwater. Is it the best form of hydration? No. But is it a panic moment no?”
Cheers to that.
Cassie Steer is acting head of beauty at Grazia with over 25 years’ experience on women’s glossies.