How To Stop The ‘Motherhood Penalty’ From Hurting Your Finances


by Joeli Brearley |
Updated on

Last week was Equal Pay Day, the point in the year when women start working for free compared to men. This year, that day fell on the 20th November, two days earlier than it fell in 2023, because the gender pay gap has grown. That’s right, the gender pay gap for full time workers is now 11.3%, up from 10.7% last year.

But what’s a few percentage points between friends, eh? Well, It’s more than just a slight inconvenience. Women are paid a whopping £7,572 less per year than men, on average. This difference can be catastrophic for women’s quality of life.

Now, let me be clear – the gender pay gap is not women's fault. We did nothing wrong. The reason we earn less is due to three main factors: 1) Occupational segregation, where women are shoehorned into lower paid sectors like care work – because care work has no real value to society, does it?! (note my sarcasm) 2) Pay discrimination, where women are paid less than men for doing work of equal value, and 3) The motherhood penalty.

Before you get your knickers in a twist, I'm not saying that motherhood is a penalty. Sure, parenting can be hugely challenging, but being a mother isn’t (always) a punishment. It’s a wonderful, joyous, noisy thing, and most of us wouldn’t want it any other way (if we could just have an extra hour in bed).

The motherhood penalty is the hit women take on their earnings from the point they get pregnant due to bias and antiquated legislation. The Institute for Fiscal Studies found that by the time a woman’s first child is 12 years old, her hourly pay rate is 33% behind a man's. Again, this is not the fault of mothers and it shouldn’t be up to us to fix the issue, but there are some things that you can do to protect and even increase your earnings:

1. Know Your Rights and Use Them

The law is there for a reason, so don’t let anyone gaslight you into thinking discrimination is 'just the way it is'. Know your maternity and employment rights. If something feels wrong — whether it’s missed promotions, biassed assumptions, or a sneaky demotion — don’t let it slide. Document everything, and don’t hesitate to seek legal advice from: Pregnant Then Screwed, ACAS and Primas Law.

2. Motherhood could be your re-birth

Motherhood can lead to you questioning almost everything – especially your career. I only wanted to leave my baby with someone else if the work I was doing really meant something – but moving jobs felt impossible. Who would take a chance on a knackered, lactating, overwhelmed new mum?

This is why I ADORE the new campaign from The Open University encouraging new mums to consider retraining as a way to fulfil your remodelled ambitions and aspirations – which, let’s be honest, do not die just because you’ve had a child. In fact, for the mums I speak to, having a child makes you more ambitious.

But retraining comes with its own fears – the cost, the time, will my brain ever work again? For retraining to work it needs to be remote, affordable and entirely flexible with tutors who understand that you might need to study whilst breastfeeding, or bottom wiping, whilst a child sticks their wet fingers in your ear hole. The Open University's distance learning courses work around the pressures of motherhood, offering the freedom to study on your terms alongside a range of funding options to keep education affordable. Last week they went around the UK sticking mortarboards on traditional parent signs to remind us all that motherhood is more than giving birth – it’s potentially a rebirth for you as well.

3. Think about your long-term finances

If you’re in a relationship when you have a child and you decide that you’re to take on the lion’s share of the caring responsibility, work out what this means for you in terms of missing contributions to your pension. Ask your partner to split their pension contributions with you as well as the income from their paid work.

It’s only fair, and, although you might feel like you’re blissfully in love and will continue to share everything for eternity, divorces do happen, and you need to protect yourself. If your partner refuses, then suggest they take Shared Parental Leave whilst you go back to work. If they still refuse, then I would probably respond by going on a sex strike. They don’t deserve it, and there are many high-quality, battery-powered solutions to solve that particular issue for you.

4. Be a voice for change:

If you work within a company, set up a women’s group. Invite female colleagues to band together to discuss the challenges they have faced at the organisation and then, as a collective, lobby your company for change. You’re stronger together.

In the words of every unapologetic mum out there: You’ve got this. And if anyone dares to suggest otherwise, remind them they’re underestimating the most resourceful, resilient multitasker on the planet— a working mum.

Joeli Brearley is the author of: Pregnant Then Screwed, How to Stop Motherhood Being the Kiss of Death For Your Career. For more information on how to retrain or upskill at The Open University, visit: The Open University | Courses and Qualifications

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