By Mimi Nicklin, empathy expert and host of The Mimi YouYou show
As the back-to-school season approaches, many parents are filled with excitement and anticipation at the return to the normality of a September routine. But much like our children preparing for their new classes, this start of a new term can also be a time of uncertainty for parents looking to form new friendships on the school run.
Whilst the stereotypes of parental rivalries dominating the school gates is largely false, it can still be an intimidating environment to enter – especially if your child is new to the community. Human beings are creatures of comfort, and putting ourselves out there can feel like we’re opening ourselves up to rejection or criticism.
The school gates offer access to a community in a time where loneliness is on the rise and social connections are needed more than ever. It’s not just a place where our children can form friendships, but where parents can interact face-to-face with people who understand the reality of early morning tantrums and missing lunch boxes. It’s a place of shared experiences and a reminder that we can foster relationships by simply swapping stories on the playground.
So, how can you make friends when the school bell chimes? Here’s a few simple tips to consider.
Be realistic
In the modern world where we’re all running about from one place to the next with a to-do list as long as our arms, adding a social element to the school run just isn’t a possibility for everyone. So be realistic about what you can do and lean into these opportunities. Joining school WhatsApp groups and email newsletters can help you stay in-touch with the school community without the added pressure. If you do have extra time, volunteering with school groups or parent associations can help you meet likeminded people and build a network within the school community, as well as accessing support when it's needed.
Be open
It might sound obvious, but being open to forming new friendships is the first step to building these connections. Smile, say hello, and engage with other parents at the school gates by asking questions to break the ice. Curiosity builds our empathy and deepens our relationships, so what starts out as polite small talk about the weather could quickly evolve into a close friendship. Maybe you work in similar sectors or share the same route to school. Offering to swap details to help each out can be a great way to start forming a bond away from the playground.
Be brave
People respond to authenticity and vulnerability, so be brave in sharing your interests, passions and aspirations with others, and be honest about your reality and challenges. We are all more alike than we are different and opening up about yourself can cultivate trust and a deeper connection with those around you. This level of genuine connection creates a sense of belonging that helps us feel less isolated. Many parents will be in the same boat as you are in terms of wanting to be connected with the school community, so a friendly smile can go a long way.
Mimi Nicklin is a single mum, an empathy expert, host of The Mimi YouYou podcast, & best-selling author of Softening the Edge. Follow her on social media at @miminicklin. For more information visit www.empathyeverywhere.co