Mother’s Day is coming around again! Bring on the images of happy families with lovely white teeth in pristine pyjamas with lovely well behaved children and restaurant quality breakfasts served on clean bedsheets! But, is that the actual reality? Nope. Think more burnt toast, tantrums and tired women.
For many of us, it is a really tricky day for many reasons. Thankfully now, brands are getting the hint that it isn't a Hallmark moment, and some of us would like it to pass us by and 'opt out' of the over-hyped pressure to make it a lovey-dovey day. Having been a mother for over fourteen years, and single mum for three of those, I have had my fair share of quite sweet moments of handmade cards and some lovingly prepared haphazard breakfasts in bed, whilst looking like I have been sleeping (or not sleeping at all) in a skip. I treasured the cuddles, the 'I luv U Mama' drawings. But, I really don’t need a designated day for that, I get far more from the spontaneous gestures of love from my two. Like when my son makes me pizza when I am tired, or when my teenager picks up at least one of their 17 wet towels on their bedroom floor. #blessed.
This year Mother’s Day will be a whole different ball game, as it will be the first time I will not be with my kids. And, like with any single parenting milestone, we have decided to change the rules and make some new traditions and reinvent what the whole thing means to us as a family of three.
One of the greatest things about becoming a single parent is that you get to rewrite your previous parenting script and rip up and redefine any pesky old expectations you had on yourself. Take for example, last Christmas, I spent it with my own parents, so we decided to pretend to have Christmas Day on the 22nd. We woke up early, unwrapped presents and had our “Christmas Lunch” that day. Our new tradition is that each of us gets to pick three of our favourite foods for the meal, and it can be anything (as long as one is healthy) and put it all on the table, like some sort of Tudor feast. It is absolutely joyous! Bring on roast chicken, with a side of Skittles and strawberries, with some Mac’n’Cheese with cucumber spears as a flourish!
That’s the liberating thing about being a single mum, you get to celebrate things your way. Sure everything is slightly more exhausting and chaotic, but it is empowering holding together a newly formed home and family, and making all the decisions yourself.
So, what will be happening this Sunday? Well, myself and fellow Scummy Mummy, Ellie Gibson are going to casually be at the base of Mount Everest, starting off our adventure to trek base camp. We are raising money for the premature baby research charity, Borne and attempting to break the Guinness World Record for the world’s highest comedy gig on land! So, two mothers, doing something kind of outrageous and wonderful for other mothers and babies. And, our kids could not be prouder.
I have told my two that they have to both write 'heartfelt' letters for me to read on the day. Nothing like a bit of forced sentimentality to really give that Sunday morning that special feeling, hey? And before the big day, we are all going out for pizza together as two scummy families just before we hop on the plane to Kathmandu. That feels like a pretty lovely mother-day-sy thing to do. And, no crumbs in the bed to deal with. Win win.
The amount I will miss my kids is immeasurable and I am feeling pretty wobbly about being so far away from them, and that’s not even thinking about the high suspension bridges I will be walking across with rogue yaks! But, I know they will be with me in spirit.
Being a single mum has taught me so much about being brave, fearless and also not giving a flying f**k about what anyone else thinks or does. I am just too tired, and well, too blooming happy to care.
Mother’s Day if you choose to celebrate it, should be about what makes you happy, and if it is lying in darkened room eating cookie dough ice-cream, go for it. Or, it might mean, being up a ludicrously high mountain with your best mate. Anyway, my advice is, for what it’s worth is, you do you. Ignore those shmultzy ads and enjoy yourself, babes.
If you would like to follow our Mouth Everest adventure - follow @scummymummies on Instagram. And we will live streaming our World Record Attempt on March 29th at 9.45am via https://www.twitch.tv/elliegibsongames.
If you would like to donate to the Borne Charity, please visit our GoFundMe page.