Here’s How To Talk To Your Teenagers About Getting The Covid Vaccine

By the end of July both my eldest teens had been double jabbed. The girls, aged 17 and 18, took it upon themselves to get their covid vaccination at walk-in centres near where we live in central London (as they’re over 16 they didn’t need parental consent). Almost all their friends had done the same.

While my husband James and I were all for them being vaccinated we were taken back the unusual efficiency they showed in getting it done, I mean one of them can barely remember to put the lid on the milk properly!

But if there is one thing I’ve learnt about adolescents it is that they never fail to surprise you and also that we should never underestimate them. Now the Government is recommending vaccinations for all UK 16/17 year olds (more news next week) I can only hope conversations for other families are as easy as ours. However judging by what’s happening in the US, where one quarter of parents have said no to vaccinations for their teens, some of you may be finding it more tricky.

Having interviewed many experts on the frontline of adolescent mental health for my book Mum, what’s wrong with you; 101 things only the mothers of teenage girls know my number one piece of advice if you’re talking to teens about anything medical is to get arm yourself with the correct, most up to date information from the NHS website. In the US pro-jab teens set up VaxTeen with medical advisors to help parents and adolescents. If you know the facts you can answer any questions your teens pose (never guess answers, teens can smell a parental fib a mile off ).

Most important conversations with teens should be had side by side rather than face to face and these chats work best if they feel spontaneous. Adolescents struggle with ‘sit downs’ as mine call them and tend to take in more information on a car ride or a dog walk, then they feel you are properly listening to them rather than telling them what to do. Teenagers generally resist being told what do by parents, their prime directive is to separate from you so doing what you say goes against that quest.

And given the amount of time most teens spend on social media with their friends be prepared to combat some of the misinformation they may have taken on board. A teen’s peer group holds much power when it comes to decision making so perhaps research the most common social media inaccuracies floating around the web so you can refute them with facts.

But be careful to properly listen to the myths your teens may relay to you without dismissing them instantly. Often your adolescent is simply putting things out there while they work it all out in their own minds, they may not want you to immediately refute any nonsense they’ve heard, they may react better to a calm discussion about facts so they can refute it themselves later on, this gives them the power over deciding whether to be vaccinated or not.

The teenage brain is undergoing much reshaping between the ages of 12 and 17 so they may not be capable of physically applying adult logical to their decisions, witnessing this can be frustrating as a parent but you’d be the same if your brain was in the process of being taken apart and being put back together again!

You’ll need patience to work this through with them while all the time reminding them you need them to have the jab for their own safety and for those around them. It’s particularly important for older teens going back to or starting Uni this September, reminding them too that them they are keeping grandparents and family safe (adolescents do have powerful a conscience according to mental health experts). Talk through what they may not be able to do if they don’t get the jab e.g. travel, take up offers of employment, see relatives in high risk categories, go out and have fun, attend festivals, volunteer for their DofE qualifications.

If your teen is extremely anxious or worried perhaps the conversation is about their fears and not the actual vaccination. Perhaps there is something else going on underneath their resistance to the jab? Gently exploring that, side by side, could reassure them but ultimately they have to face their fears. Avoiding what frightens you during this stage of development won’t help your teens develop the resilience needed for their adult lives so make sure you remain firm about them definitely getting it done. Get the facts on how low risk the vaccination is for teens and guide them to websites that back this up.

One of my teens asked me to go with her because she is frightened of needles, the staff at the walk-in in clinic were patient, calm and empathetic about this fear, they see it a lot.

Neither of mine had any side effects of the Pfizer vaccine – they both seemed a bit coldy after the first one and quite slothful after the second though that could just have ben normal adolescent speed, urgency is not in their repertoire!

If you are worried then talk to your GP – they can call you or your teen to discuss the vaccination or your teen can text SHOUT for support and advice or you can call Young Minds for parental support.

Mum, What’s Wrong With You? 101 Things Only Mothers of Teenage Girls by Lorraine Candy is published by 4th Estate, out now