The cliché is true: one minute you’re on high alert to catch milky burps, then you blink and you’ve got a four-year-old who is trying on a school jumper. As an ex-teaching assistant and mum of two, I have been on both sides of the school gates. But even preparing my little ones for starting school felt quite daunting and like a big deal, because it is. For us and them!
I’ve written about the things we’d done to prepare – and, in all honesty, it probably didn’t include much of what you might expect. Teachers expect children to start school not knowing anything at all, and will teach letters and counting right from the beginning. Instead the skills they need are quite basic, and listed below along with some of my tips to help develop them.
Getting Dressed
For shoes, cut a sticker in half and pop one half inside each of their school shoes to help them match up left and right. Let them regularly have a go at doing their coat themselves, try not to zip it up for them. If their little fingers are finding it tricky, play with play dough at home to build hand strength.
Going To The Toilet
In the months leading up to your child starting school, I recommend having regular five-minute chats with them about it. During one of those chats explain that in school they will need to ask a grown-up to use the toilet. They’ll have to remember to wash their hands on their own too. We sing ‘Wash wash wash you hands, scrub them nice and clean, in and out and round and round, make those handies gleam!’ To the tune of Row Row Row Your Boat.
Asking For Help
This is quite a hard skill to teach. However in any of the games we play whenever my little one’s get frustrated at not being able to do something, I always calmly remind them that they can ask for help and often mention to them that at school the adults will do the same. In my Starting School book there are example conversations to show the children what asking for help looks like and why it is always OK.
Recognise Their Name
They don’t need to be able to write it although it’s obviously wonderful if they can, but being able to spot the letters in their name is helpful. There are games for this on my website fiveminutemum.com A nice way to start is by playing ordering games, whereby you mix up the letter order of their name and see if they can put it right again.
Coping With Anxiety
It is totally natural for children to feel anxious or daunted about starting school. Here’s some ways to help:
HEARTS: Draw a small heart on the palm of your child’s wrist, then draw a matching one on your own. Explain that, any time your child feels worried, they can press the special heart on their hand and it will send a cuddle to you – and you will send one back! Practise doing this while you’re sitting together, then remember to draw a heart on their wrist the first day.
CALM CHATS: Every few days, take five minutes to have a quiet moment with your child. Remove any distractions, and just have a little chat about school. Mention their favourite things, and ask them how they feel about school. Tell them what you enjoyed most when you went to school.
PRACTISE THE TRIP TO SCHOOL: Practise the walk or drive there together before school begins. If you walk, point out the things you see so that they start to feel familiar. Take a little treat for the journey home again, so it feels like a positive experience.
Making Friends
In my Starting School book there is a page to help show the children how to make friends. It’s a skill we often think children intuitively have but sometimes they need a little extra support. Talk to them about how to ask someone’s name and how often knowing that is a great first step to getting to know someone.
This year is called RECEPTION for a reason. It’s a welcome year. It’s a ‘let’s get settled into this new way of life’ year. Everyone needs to find their feet including you, the grown ups. So go easy on yourselves and your little people. It’s really just the beginning of the next big adventure.
Daisy Upton’s book Starting School is out now, published by Ladybird RRP £9.99