The fuss over Julia having her daughter, Pia, makes me question how accepting we are as a society. I had my two children, Molly, 12, and Danny, 11, later than average. I’m older than most of their friends’ parents – and don’t my kids like to remind me. But, in general, I don’t notice my age much and it doesn’t bother me.
There are loads of advantages to having kids later. I did a lot of living first so don’t feel resentful about the parts of my life that now need to take second place. And I’ve got confidence and a sense of myself I didn’t have when I was younger – that self-assurance is invaluable when raising children.
Loads of my friends had children at a similar age to me, but I also have some who wanted to but couldn’t. I’m not encouraging women to wait. I was lucky, but I’m very aware that’s not going to be possible for everyone.
I’ve met Julia a number of times. She’s fitter than many 20-year-olds I see walking the streets. I have no doubt that she’ll make a fantastic mother. And she’s done the big work of her career so, if anything, she’ll be able to spend more time with her kids than some younger mums.
On the downside, I know I won’t have as much time on the planet with my kids as I’d have liked and I have a bit less energy than younger mums. But my friend Mick Jagger was 73 when he had his youngest last December and he’s an incredibly active dad. I’ve seen him do everything from dancing until 4am to sword fights and cricket with his children.
However, I do see that men don’t attract the same level of attention when they have children in later life; if we’re going to judge one sex and not the other, that’s very unjust.
I don’t think there needs to be an age cut-off point when it comes to having babies, people are free to make their own decisions. Whatever way Julia has managed to achieve motherhood, it’s a great thing. It’s wonderful women have more options now and Julia had every right to make that choice. If we can help women struggling with fertility at any age, that’s fantastic and we should be celebrating the fact a successful, brilliant woman has achieved yet one more goal in her life; not invading her privacy by presuming she should declare how she got pregnant – her body is not public property.
It feels like we welcome every advance in medical science apart from the extension of a woman’s fertility. We’d never question giving a 70-year-old man a heart transplant, but it still seems shocking that we’re aiming to lengthen the short period in which we’re fertile. That’s crazy when you think how long we live for these days.
In the end, though, we’re going to have to learn to be more tolerant. This furore over late motherhood is unnecessary; for the small proportion of women who decide to have children later, the vast majority will continue to have them at a younger age. If it’s possible now for a woman to have a baby at that age, why should we deny her that right?
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