8.30am, and you’re off to catch the bus to work, feeling quite chipper on account of your new Veja trainers, whose pale blue trim matches your floral maxi dress. But why is a 16 year-old girl in an Aries sweatshirt, knee-length shorts and hiked up Nike sports socks pointing her phone at you? Is she filming you? Surely not. You dismiss your fears as paranoia.
Hold that thought. The latest Tiktok trend isn’t an improbable skincare routine involving unicorn hooves, but the mocking of every midlife woman’s favourite wardrobe combo, the floaty dress and white trainers.
TikTok has been alight with viral videos shaming the look, ranging from the mildly comedic to the mean. 'No-one’s safe when the denim jacket and white shoe combo mums are out and about,' notes one user, posting a clip of two middle-aged women striding down a train platform accompanied by music from a horror film. 'When your mum thinks she’s cool but she’s a basic bitch,' says another, accompanied by a video of her hapless parent - the woman who birthed her - twirling in the mirror.
On the one hand, this isn’t something worth getting worked up about. Firstly, there is nothing that Gen Z won’t film - everything is content, ergo there’s no point in taking this personally. Secondly, no woman north of 35 should give a hoot what Gen Z thinks of their outfit (sorry - fit - Gen Z’s obsession with reducing every word in the dictionary to a single syllable is only marginally exceeded by their obsession with our clothes).
But on the other hand: WTF, Gen Z? Are they trying to say that #floatydressesandwhitetrainers are more of a cliche than Crocs and long socks, black North Face puffers or jeans big enough to fit an elephant? When we have the temerity to knock on their bedroom door to ask whether there’s anything specific they’d like from Ocado, do we immediately start mocking them for the 53 large gold hoops they’re wearing in their ears? Do we pass comment when they express desire for yet another pair of Sambas? No, we do not.
This is because, unlike Gen Z, Gen X didn’t grow up feeling the need to throw shade at every generation that came after - or before - them. It was not us who invented the scathing term 'OK, boomer' - that accolade belongs to millennials. Granted, the platforms on which to throw said shade were yet to have been invented, but now that they do exist, surely there’s a better usage for them than taking the mick out of our floral maxis, our skinny jeans, our denim jackets and our trainer socks.
Basic as they may seem to Gen Z, the dress and trainer combo was quite hot in the Nineties. If they’d bother to do their research, they’d find that one of their heroines, Lily Allen, was partial to the look back in the day. But that’s beside the point. The point being that women over 45 have evolved well past the life stage where anyone gets to dictate what they shouldn’t wear. They’ve looked in the f**kbucket, and it’s empty. Trend-led scaremongering doesn’t scare them.
Although it does make them angry - which is why so many of them are clapping back. Woe betide anyone who messes with a hormonally challenged woman. 'My hip is buggered. Between that and the menopause I won’t be discarding my floaty dress and trainers any time soon,' says one Gen X-er on TikTok.
Others take a more explanatory tack. 'We’re tired. We’re not even fitting in to our fat jeans. We’ve had a great time on holiday and probably drank too much fizz. The jeans? Quite frankly, they are painful. And we don’t do pain any more,' says @emvexed.
Gen X has spoken. Ubiquitous as it may be, the floaty dress and trainer combo is comfy, easy, and works well for their busy lives as fans Victoria Starmer and Holly Willoughby will attest. Maybe Gen Z should choose a more worthy target than their mums. As one Tiktokker put it succinctly: “Don’t come for us - we cook your dinner.”