Is there anything more annoying than standing waiting to get served in a busy bar? OK, yes – there is: when you’re standing waiting and some douchebag decides this is the optimum time to try out his 1980s-style chat up line on you. Cheers, douche. Give it up.
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In that scenario it’s tempting to try throwing your weight around to get served and swiftly back to your mates.
Our advice is don’t even attempt to push your way in. Emilie, our searingly honest bartender says this way only incites iciness from behind the bar. And we don’t mean you’ll get extra ice in your drink.
‘Don’t click your fingers at us because that will not get you served,’ she warns in a very stern but sensible voice. ‘And, don’t wave cash or your card as us. If we see that, we’ll probably blank you. Don’t wave at us or whistle at us as this makes us want to punch you.’
OK. So we know what not to do. But is there any way we can actually get that Mojito more speedily?
‘Just smile at us, maintain eye contact and if it’s a busy bar, try to stay relaxed,’ she says. ‘If a bartender notices you’ve been waiting and you’re smiling and they know you’re not going to shout at them if they say, “I’ll be with you in a sec,” we’re more likely to come back to you.’
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What about that age-old cliché that what you wear will make a difference? Think looking like you’re the type of person who has a Coutts account (clue: you don’t) or, cringe, wearing a revealing kind of top.
‘I’m sure some male bartenders are probably more likely to serve girls who are dressed up, especially in a busy bar with neon lights and Top 40 music,’ says Emilie, somewhat skeptically. ‘But I don’t care. I would compliment someone if I like what they’re wearing, but it’s not going to get you served any quicker.’
And if that’s somewhat cheering, her final tip is a bit more depressing. ‘If you tip the bartender, you’ll be more memorable for sure,’ she says. Ah. Probably counts us out then. Back to the queue, babes.
(There are more great cocktail recipes at Mixed Cocktails, FYI.)
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.