So everyone says Valentine's Day is a dreadful ordeal if you're single, but what about if you're in a relationship? Is the day actually any better?
It's great to have a significant other, yes, but this time of year, it's a bit like finding yourself in a romantic minefield. What's acceptable? What's expected? What do you do if you disappoint someone? And how do you react if they disappoint you?
Sound like a RELATIONSHIP NIGHTMARE TO YOU?!
Well, it does to us. So we've come up with a list of everything you should (and should not do), to get through it...
1.) Agree beforehand what you're going to do (if, indeed, that's anything at all). That way there's zero chance of disappointment (and by extension, fights).
2.) Don't go out for dinner. Don't do it. Because if you're 'that couple' eating face on the next table, you'll ruin it for everyone else. And if you're not 'that couple' eating face on the next table, you might just start to wonder WHY IS THAT... And then, a couple of vinos down, you might surprise yourself by casually mentioning this thought, before coming wildly to the conclusion that the reason for it is surely: 'YOU JUST DON'T FANCY ME ANYMORE...' [tumble weed]
3.)... And on the note of 'vino', do naaaat go for the bottle. Take it on a glass-by-glass basis. With a lotta water in-between.
4.) If you decide to stay in, only cook if you can actually cook. There are plenty of days in the year to trial individual beef wellingtons with homemade puff pastry, but Valentine's Day is not one of them. If you can't cook opt for a take away – it's retro, it's cool and if your partner doesn't like it, dump them. (Because you can't seriously date someone who doesn't like pizza, can you?)
5.) If you opt for an indoor picnic, steer clear of oysters. Because it might end up being bye bye romance FOREVER if you get a bad one (and we mean, literally forever – you can never eat an oyster again, not ever).
6.) If you get a Valentine's gift that isn't from your partner...
a.) Don't mention it to them. (It's just a bit mean, isn't it, to make them worried and jealous.)
b.) Or, if they're the one that finds it on the doormat, or like, answers the door to that a cappella group trumpeting 'You're The One That I Want'... act like it's nothing, nothing at all! Probably just your dad, or your bro, or your best mate having a laugh...*
*Under no circumstances do you shriek: 'AAAH! I was wondering why Josh from work wanted my address!!!'
7.) If you're hoping they might propose... un-hope this. Chances are, they won't – but that's a good thing. You don't want your guy to propose on Valentine's Day – because you want him to have an actual imagination.
8.) Don't be disappointed if your partner genuinely forgets about the day. It doesn't mean they don't love you, and hey, it's not like it's your birthday...
9.) If your partner brings home a bunch of flowers that they clearly got round the corner from a petrol station just now, don't get cross. Laugh and say: 'Ha! I was going to get those for you – but they were too expensive.'
10.) If your partner makes LOADS of effort and it's you who forgets... tell them a surprise is on its way. (Then Google mini breaks here: [lastminute.com](http://last minute.com)