How To Survive Valentine’s Day If You’re Single

Legally Blonde, Reese Witherspoon

by Edwina Langley |
Published on

Valentine's Day? Urgh. Just the most 'urgh' day of the year if you happen to be single (note: we don't really like using the word 'single', we prefer 'not in a relationship', but that's just a bit of a mouthful here).

Why is it so 'urgh'? Because there are so many things to consider. Namely, what does one do - stay in and watch non romcoms? Go on a date? Hide under the duvet? (We could go on...)

Put simply, Valentine's Day is quite an ordeal for 'single' people. Here's what to do...

1.) If your flatmate gets a HUGE card from her boyfriend

That's a crime against trees that is. Tell her so.

2.) If you get a card but you know it's from your dad

Stick it on your mirror to affirm that there is already a man in your life who'll love you forever.

3.) If your friend tells you she got LOTS of cards

Most men can't be bothered to put down the loo seat, so the likelihood they'll buy and send a card to someone they fancy is extremely slim. Therefore, if your friend got 'lots' of cards... they're probably from just the one man. #awkward

4.) If a work colleague get roses sent to their desk

Chuckle and say: 'Good luck getting those home on the tube!'

Or: 'That's gotta be embarrassing!'

Or: 'Did you send them to yourself?' (Maybe not this one, but you can always hoot with laughter thinking about it)

5.) If people ask what your plans are on the night

Tell them you're donating blood (and actually do it - save lives!). That'll make their Valentine's dinner sound, like, soooo lame.

6.) If people in relationships say to your face: 'WE don't do Valentine's Day'

Reply: 'I don't doooo relationships.'

7.) If your mum tells you to 'get out' and 'have a bit of fun'

Tell her your friend Susie did that once and she got pregnant.

8.) If a guy you don't fancy asks you out for dinner

Say no.

9.) If a guy you do fancy asks you out for dinner

Say yes.

10.) If a guy texts randomly and asks if you'd like to 'Netflix and chill'

Bar his number.

11.) If a friend suggests a girlie DVD night in

Tell her you're not 12 and unless there's alcohol involved, you're not going anywhere.

12.) If you get drunk and text your ex


13.) If your ex gets drunk and texts you

Tell him if he misses you he should say it to your face - sober.

14.) If you actually do get chocs, flowers and a card, and you've genuinely no idea who they're from

It's quite creepy isn't it? Give them away.

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