Is 30 The New 25?

This is your weekly instalment of WTF is going on because, these days, a lot can happen in a week…

You used to be an adult at 18 or, at a push, 21. Apparently there was a time when you'd have left home, be in work and have started a family of your own by your early twenties. I only know about it because my Nan and Grandad would constantly express their shock at how I was 'still living like a teenager' in my twenties. In fairness to me, this is partly because they couldn't understand that 'freelance' is not the same as 'unemployed' but, in their defence, my life at 24 or 25 looked very different to theirs at the same age.

I am now about to turn 30 and, while my shit is more together than it's ever been, my life looks nothing like I thought it would on the eve of my fourth decade on this planet. I am not married, I have no children or plans to have any. Until very recently I was spending the majority of my income on rent which means I have little to no savings. However, I did very recently (sort of) buy a house but the government owns most of it; I effectively have two mortgages which, if I think about it too much, makes me hyperventilate so much that my hands go cold. I will probably never, ever pay off my student loan.

Rather than beat myself up about any of the above, I take comfort in the fact that new guidance on when adulthood begins was actually issued to psychologists a few years ago. The official scientific stance is that adolescence now effectively runs up until the age of 25 because neuroscientists have found evidence that our brains are still developing well into our early twenties and, even, possibly our early thirties.

Brain development aside, there are also very real economic reasons as to why we might not be quite as advanced as we'd like to be when we hit 30 (with the exception of those of us earning well above the national average or sitting on overflowing pots of family money). More young adults (one in four between the ages of 20-34) are living in their family home than at any time in recent history and housing costs have, objectively, soared well beyond what people on average salaries earn in many parts of the country. The median price paid for a home leapt by a totally ridiculous 259% between 1997 and 2016. To put that into context, earnings only went up by 68%.

Economically and emotionally, 25 really is the new 18 so perhaps that does make 30 the new 25. It's tempting to feel very down about all of this, I know. Headline after headline tells young people that we're rubbish, lazy and hopeless and we're simultaneously told by society that we should all be on 30 under 30 lists and that we'll never own homes of our own. It's stressful and confusing because success is still somehow equated with youth even though the reality of being a young adult has changed. This happened as soon as leaving home, a fundamental rite of passage, became unaffordable for huge numbers of people.

Only yesterday the Prince's Trust released research which finds that young people in Britain today have never been unhappier. They're worried about jobs and money as well their physical and mental health. Three out of five say they regularly feel 'stressed' and one in four say they have felt 'hopeless'.

There is (and I know this first hand) a very real danger that reading about how screwed young people are all the time can be self-reinforcing. You might have one eye on the news which is telling you how stunted you are economically and another on Instagram where everybody's lives look inexplicably perfect - it makes you feel passive and powerless and normalises an overwhelming sense of hopelessness because, let's face it, that's less exhausting than being angry all the time.

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But, the truth is, that you still have the ability to do stuff. It is all a bit shit, there's no doubt about that. But all is not lost and, perhaps seeing 30 as the new 25 is a way of looking at it all a bit more positively? My life at 30 may not look quite how I'd imagined it but it looks pretty great and, if it had looked like this at 25, 26 or even 27 I would have been over the bloody moon. So far, 30 does feel better. It's a hideous cliché but I don't worry as much, I apologise less and have stopped waiting for anyone to give me permission to do the things I want to do. I also stalk all of my ex boyfriends a hell of a lot less (with the exception of one, who I am fairly sure recently bought some Instagram followers).

It's time to move the goal posts of our 20s and see 30 as the fresh start in adulthood that 25 once was. Cauterize your obsession with 'making it' before you're 30 right now. Do not look at 30 under 30 lists. Milestone birthday markers are arbitrary anyway. Our obsession with youth is only instilled in us because of the narcissism of older people who have placed youth on our TV screens, in our cinemas and on lists of 'ones to watch' because, we're their Dorian Greys, helping them to drink from the fountain of youth. Ask yourself this: why are there no 50 over 50 lists?

Will I turn into a proper pumpkin (adult) at 11.59pm on Saturday? I guess that remains to be seen but if the last two years are anything to go by, there's a strong possibility that I'll just fall asleep before waking up with an AstroTurf mouth. My heart will be full of regret not because I overdid it but because I promised myself I'd try stay out until at least 2am this time. 30 might be the new 25 in many ways, but staying out late is one trait of actually being 25 that I'll be more than happy to leave behind.

Follow Vicky on Twitter @Vicky_Spratt

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.