'I like how you dress. I think all women should wear heels, I just can’t take them seriously otherwise,' he said, with a smile. It wasn’t exactly what I was expecting a male senior executive to say to me following a business pitch. I’d thought it’d gone well thanks to the weeks of research, number-crunching and intense working hours I’d put in to prepare, but I didn't think my choice of shoe was going to come into it. Still, I'm not sure quite why I was so surprised, given that I've never felt more aware of my gender than I have since moving to Australia from the UK three years ago.
Having grown up watching the laid-back, open-minded characters in Home & Away and* *Neighbours, I expected this 'New World’ to be more forward-thinking and relaxed than stuffy old Britain. I was surprised to discover that same sex marriage is illegal and obtaining an abortion is very difficult. I used to live in Dubai, where abortion is illegal and being gay is punishable by death, so it wasn't like I was shocked. I just didn't expect that to be the case in a country that's often portrayed as sunny and fun.
The reality is very different. In fact, I've never seen the same deep-seated and openly acceptable sexist attitudes that exist in Australia anywhere else – including The Middle East. In Dubai, I saw women in burkhas and abiyas everywhere I looked, but I also saw those women at work in managerial positions, and I never once heard any of them referred to as an ‘uptight bitch’, a ‘bossy cow’ or them being told they needed ‘a good seeing to' if they dared to stand up to overtly sexist behaviour at work. I’ve witnessed that kind of thing here in Australia as many times as I saw a covered face over there.
I've heard countless women in offices referred to as ‘uptight bitch’, a ‘bossy cow’ or being told they needed ‘a good seeing to'
Sexism is far more overt here than in Britain and seldom causes a reaction. Just look at how Australian politicians portray themselves on the world stage. Julia Gillard, Australia’s former prime minister, was treated abysmally while in office. On a menu for a Liberal National Party fundraiser, they declared they were serving up Julia Gillard quail with ‘small breasts, huge thighs and a big red box’ – and when there was a furore over it, dismissed it as ‘just a joke’ between the event’s two organisers. When current PM Tony Abbott led protests against her leadership, his supporters held up placards emblazoned with the words ‘bitch’ and 'witch’. It makes David Cameron telling Angela Eagle to ‘calm down, dear’ during a Commons exchange look tame by comparison. Currently, under Tony Abbott, Australia has one female cabinet minister – one. That’s two less women than the British and Afghan cabinets, respectively.
It's not just sexism in politics – it happens everywhere. Random (male) strangers have come up to me in IKEA and informed me that I’ll ‘need a good man’ to put the furniture I was buying together for me. Dating and making friends involves the same kind of imbalance. All dating sites are geared around ‘getting a root’ rather than finding a relationship and men here are certainly not shy about telling you that the role of women is to be seen and not heard.
I’ve been accused of being ‘one of those stupid feminists who thinks they can buy a man’ because I bought the second round of drinks on a date
I've been on dates where the guy has told me outright that a woman’s place is in the home. Buy a drink for a man or go halves on a date and it’s met with bewilderment, then a certain level of conceit. While on dates with Australian men, I’ve been accused of being ‘one of those stupid feminists who thinks they can buy a man’ because I bought the second round of drink. I've been told that I’d ‘do a lot better with blokes if I didn’t have so many opinions’. I’ve also had my knowledge of current affairs met with utter incredulity, not because of my political leanings, but because I – a woman – know anything about it at all.
The last time I went on a date with an Australian man, I thought I’d finally cracked it when, after I explained what I did, he said it was good I had a career path as he’d never go out with anyone who had no drive or ambition. But later on, he seemd to completely change his mind when he informed me that ‘no wife of his’ would work as she’d need to stay home and raise their children. When I then brought up the fact that many women balance having a career with having children, he said that ‘those kinds of women should seriously question whether they should be a mother at all, as that’s just selfish’. It’s exasperating. I’m now with an English guy and, I’ve got to say, it’s a relief that I now don’t have to go on any disastrous dates with Australian guys.
Making friends isn’t much easier. At any given party, you’ll most likely find the men and women decamped into two separate groups. The men will be outside, crowded round the barbecue or some machinery, while the women will be sat around a table or in the lounge together, usually with the children. Dare to break that convention and you’ll be met with contempt from both sides. After all, what could a woman possibly have to contribute to serious men’s business?
Challenge the misogynistic status quo, you’re told it’s clear you don’t ‘get’ Australian humour – it’s just the ‘blokey’ culture
Challenge the misogynistic status quo, you’re told it’s clear you don’t ‘get’ Australian humour – it’s just the ‘blokey’ culture, nothing to be taken seriously. But it’s really not a laughing matter, as a recent Ernst & Young report on women in leadership revealed. Containing interviews with some of Australia’s biggest corporate leaders (mostly men), they all agree on one thing – Australia has a culture of sexism and it’s wasting female talent. Here, women make up less than 10 per cent of directors in the Top 500 companies and are paid, on average, 17.5 per cent less than men. By comparison, in Britain, women make up 19 per cent of FTSE 100 directors and, while there’s still a pay gap, it’s smaller than Australia’s at 15 per cent. According to the Ernst & Young report, ‘macho culture’ and ‘macho Australian male dominance’ were the reasons most frequently given for the absence of women at the top of industry here. I know what they mean.
I’ve been told by previous employers that I didn’t get a promotion because I’m in a long-term relationship, might get pregnant within the first two years of working there, that I was valuable in meetings despite being a woman because I have ‘a mouth on me’, and that I should wear something that revealed my tits for a pitch at a male-dominated firm. The ‘macho’ culture here extends further than bravado and inappropriate comments in the workplace. There’s an overriding feeling over here that it’s just one big boys’ club. If you’re in competition with a man at a pitch and he’s met the client before – even in passing – or is a ‘friend of a friend’, then forget your chances. I’ve had stories I’ve researched and developed taken from me and given to competitors, and have lost out on revenue because the men in control of both felt they would be better ‘invested with the boys’.
Carol Schwartz, chairwoman of Australia’s Women's Leadership Institute recently called for more women in cabinet positions, saying, 'If we don't have that representation of what our society looks like – 50 per cent men and 50 per cent women – what sort of decisions will be getting from around that table?'
She may have been talking exclusively about politics, but if we applied that kind of simple ratio to every scenario here, maybe women would be heard more, respected more and there’d be a much bright future in the offing for everyone.
Follow Kara on Twitter @KaraByerswriter
Picture: PA
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.