Ah, Dance Moms. The show that's all about competitive parenting – and a bit of kids dancing thrown in for free. It's TV we're unashamedly watching. But it's also making us realise that there are a few things you only know if you grew up as the child of a pushy parent.
(Sorry, in advance mum. And please don't cut me out of the will, yeah?)
**1. There’s no such thing as too many extracurricular activities. **
This is a list of all the after-school activities my sister and I have done over the years: Brownies, Rainbows, Sea Cadets, hockey, netball, football, softball, squash, karate, swimming, rock climbing, sailing, wind surfing, ballet, tap, modern, gymnastics, Duke of Edinburgh, choir, orchestra, flute, guitar, piano, clarinet, drama club… As I said, ENDLESS.
It’s like our parents were training us for _The Hunger Game_s – if there was a musical round.
2. Extra homework was guaranteed
As if your school homework wasn’t enough, your parents would give you extra work outside school. That meant times tables in every car journey, spellings in Sainsbury’s and mental arithmetic tests at the dinner table. Exhausting. Plus side: you're really good at working out tips in restaurants.
**3. You had to do insanely good school projects **
Got to do a project? Maybe you’ll just print some stuff off the internet? WRONG. This was not the way of the child of the pushy parent. If your project wasn’t beautifully mounted on card, professionally bound and didn’t look like it came straight from Pinterest you might as well not bother.
4. You had to go to summer school
Ahh the school holidays, a time to relax. Nope, think again. You had to go to school in the holidays for extra classes, just in case you learnt something that would push that A to an A*. Without that extra GCSE A* your parents knew you’d almost certainly get rejected from all the good universities, get a tattoo, and then probably join a gang. Or something.
**5. Holidays had to be educational, too **
When you did make it on holiday in the summer, it would definitely have to be educational. This means that, as an adult, you don’t think it’s a proper holiday if you don’t go to at least one church/museum/memorial/temple every day. It’s scientifically proven that children of pushy parents can’t have fun in Magaluf.*
*Or at least can't ever admit to their parents they had fun in Magaluf.
Dance Moms airs exclusively on Monday 26 May at 9pm on Lifetime TV.
Follow Sophie on Twitter @sophie_gadd
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.