Immigrants are easy targets. Blamed for overburdening the welfare system, stealing our jobs and increasing crime rates, they’re the number one scapegoat for both politicians and the papers.
But, like pitting a pigeon against a peregrine, this fight is not a fair one. Because immigrants don’t often have an outlet to shout back.
As a child of migrant parents, you will often find me seething with the ferocious heat of a solar flare after reading the shoddy pieces of journalism that blame foreigners for every possible calamity that has ever blighted good Old Blighty. 'Keeping Britain’s hands clean of it's own ills' by maligning the character of a hugely diverse group of people with a poisoned pen is a cop out.
For me, many of today’s headlines have crossed over the border of the preposterous and into the land of the absurd. Huge generalisations about ‘sponger’ immigrants from Eastern Europe sweep across the papers and I’m worried that people who are in the same position that my parents were once in many years ago are being made to feel like worthless scroungers.
Immigrants are scrappy, hardworking and gutsy enough to pick up sticks and make a better life for themselves in another country. And they pass all of their street smarts onto their kids, of which I am proudly one. Here are some of the best bits about being the child of immigrants:
You’ll probably be bilingual
English is my first language but I’m lucky enough to be fluent in Urdu thanks to my Pakistani mum and dad. I’d like to say that it took a lot of hard work, a slew of after-school tutorials and numerous exams to be able to speak another language but I actually did very little to earn this lifelong skill. I just grew up in a house full of Urdu speakers and soaked it up like a dumpling in a beef stew. Of course it works both ways. I still teach my dear old dad new English words and correct his mistakes – he thinks the computer modem is called a commode and that the laptop is a Nintendo.
**READ MORE: Things You Only Know If You're Boyfriends Black And You're Not **
Being bilingual has its benefits – I get to argue with my siblings in two languages, I have a bigger swear word vocabulary and I can dream in Urdu. Better yet, I can also talk about people in front of their faces without them knowing. This came in handy when I went to the Registry Office to register my daughter’s birth. The woman at the desk told me the name I had chosen was too difficult to pronounce and had a confusing spelling, which made me second guess myself. I was about to give in and change it, even though I didn’t want to, when my sister started talking to me in Urdu and essentially told me that the woman was a crackpot and I should stick to my guns. I got the support I needed and no one’s feelings were hurt in the process.
Your wardrobe is eclectic (or just confused)
If you can see beyond the mess, my wardrobe features an array of outfit choices that would seem pretty far out there for anybody else but me. Skirts and shirts make an appearance but so do shalwars and saris. And I can mix up my Western capsule wardrobe with some choice pieces of heritage fashion, from colourful scarves and tunics to my mum’s old harem pants from her wedding trousseau. I tend to wear a lot of kurta style tops with jeans and use huge scarves to keep warm, a bit like the new blanket coats from Burberry that were unveiled at London Fashion Week 2014. It’s a nice middle ground between East and West.
However, some things are a bit too extreme to wear with my Western stuff, specifically my jewellery. It’s normal for Asian jewellery to be completely over the top – at my wedding I wore a huge string of pearls with a heart-shaped gold pendant at the bottom in addition to a choker, chandelier earrings, bangles and rings on every finger. Now burglars have cottoned on to this cultural phenomenon and have started targeting Asian homes to find expensive family heirlooms using metal detectors.
Celebrations can be a juggling act
Eid, Hanukkah, Diwali, Vaisakhi or Wesak – whatever floats your festival boat make sure you ride that maritime sucker until the high seas topple you over. I get to enjoy the Christmas holidays with none of the tension of gift buying, which equates to lots of telly, plenty of food and a massive family get-together. Fast forward to Eid and I’m doing pretty much the same thing with an extra dash of prayer, more biryani and a little less TV.
But it’s not all plain sailing. It’s a bit sad that I can’t share the festivities with my friends because they’re all at work, although that could change with a new petition to make Eid and Diwali public holidays. Once an old boss of mine at a bakery refused to give me a holiday for Eid and made me spend the entire day baking mince pies for the Christmas rush. My Eid was ruined to make a better Crimbo for others.
Your business is everyone’s business
Being a Muslim means that many people feel that they have the right to ask me as many personal and invasive questions as they like. Are you going to have an arranged marriage? You mean you have never had a drink? Will your parents get mad if you have a beer? OMG are you a virgin? An old colleague once asked me this quartet of questions in the office canteen over a sandwich. For realz. I wanted to eat my chicken salad wrap and he wanted to delve into my personal life with no regard for my boundaries. I find that if I answer one question it spirals into many more and I feel exposed, like I’ve given all of myself away and got nothing in return. Now I stop the conversation short:
‘So you don’t drink huh?’
‘No I don’t. I’m a recovering alcoholic.’ BOOM!
‘Did you always know you were going to have an arranged marriage?’
‘Yes! I was betrothed on the day I was born to a 30-year-old-cousin of mine who lived in the next village i.e. Wakefield.’ DOUBLE BOOM!
Even well-meaning people can make you feel different. When I was 16 my teacher called me into her office and asked if I would mind doing my work experience at an all male graphic design company. I was utterly perplexed that she thought that I wouldn’t want to work near a man. I’m a Muslim. I’m not man phobic. Her concern came from a kind place but the result left me feeling like ‘the other’ in my 98% white Catholic school. And this type of thing occurs regularly – just when I’m comfortable in my own skin someone will single me out, making me feel different all over again.
‘Oppression’ rears its ugly head in the weirdest places
I used to live a five minute walk away from my old office and went home for lunch everyday where my partner, who was born in Pakistan, would meet me. My new boss was confused about why I did this and asked if my other half forced me go back to my apartment to eat. I said no, it’s cheaper to eat at home, I want to get out of the office and I like spending time with my husband. He thought I was oppressed and in a controlling relationship. I thought I was a money-saving luncheon superhero in love with her spouse. Again it was such an odd moment. But things like this ACTUALLY happen! Believe me.
You fake it until you make it
My mum would send my sisters and I into school with lunch flasks full of hot beef burgers to help us fit in with the ways of the English. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t work. She also taped wrapping paper onto a giant cardboard box and made my sister wear it for fancy dress day, telling the teachers that she was an ‘unconventional Humpty Dumpty’ rather than just a simple gift. I really couldn’t tell you why. Mums eh? My point is that she kept on trying until she eventually got it right. And now I do the same.
Like this? You might also be interested in...
Meet The Young British Muslims Looking To Rebrand Thier Religion%20%202%20Financial%20responsibility%20%20%203%20Intelligence%20%20%204%20Good%20looks%20%20%205%20Family%20plans%20%20%206%20Life%20goals%20%20%207%20Education%20%20%208%20Good%20salary%20%20%209%20Career%20goals%20%20%2010%20Occupation%20%20%2011%20Background%20%20%2012%20Wealth%20%20%20%20Read%20more:%20http:/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2718470/Wit-trumps-looks-woman-chooses-man-Eight-ten-say-good-sense-humour-quality-value-man.html#ixzz39iDusjvv%20Follow%20us:%20@MailOnline%20on%20Twitter%20%7C%20DailyMail%20on%20Facebook){href='/wp-admin/Sense%20of%20humour%20(87%20per%20cent)%20%202%20Financial%20responsibility%20(75%20per%20cent)%20%203%20Intelligence%20(74%20per%20cent)%20%204%20Good%20looks%20(65%20per%20cent)%20%205%20Family%20plans%20(64%20per%20cent)%20%206%20Life%20goals%20(59%20per%20cent)%20%207%20Education%20(47%20per%20cent)%20%208%20Good%20salary%20(44%20per%20cent)%20%209%20Career%20goals%20(40%20per%20cent)%20%2010%20Occupation%20(32%20per%20cent)%20%2011%20Background%20(26%20per%20cent)%20%2012%20Wealth%20(21%20per%20cent)%20%20%20Read%20more:%20http:/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2718470/Wit-trumps-looks-woman-chooses-man-Eight-ten-say-good-sense-humour-quality-value-man.html#ixzz39iDusjvv%20Follow%20us:%20@MailOnline%20on%20Twitter%20%7C%20DailyMail%20on%20Facebook' }
Islam Is Not A Monlith And Muslim women Were Never Meant To Have A Uniform
Picture: Rex
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.