UPDATE: Sussex Police have scrapped the poster campaign and apologised to those offended, with Detective Superintendent Paul Furnell saying, reports The Argus: 'The way we have gone about this campaign has caused some concern. This was not the intention of our message and for that I apologise'
The latest anti-rape poster by Sussex Police has really got under my skin. As a victim of rape, I have spent years trying to get over the self-blame and self-loathing I felt after the attack. That feeling of ‘maybe I should have worn something different, said something different, stuck with a friend’ and the punishing thoughts that continued. But, I said ‘no’, screamed ‘no’ and demanded for the intercourse to stop, so it was not my fault but his.
Every single victim of sexual abuse I have ever met has in fact blamed themselves for an act that was in no way their own fault. So, when I saw this poster to try and ‘help’ young women on their nights out from being raped, it really pissed me off.
The poster – in case you’ve yet to see it – features two young women taking a selfie with the words, ‘Which one of your mates is most vulnerable on your night out? The one you leave behind.’
It took me years to feel comfortable going out and getting drunk with my friends, and let’s face it, who hasn’t – in a vodka-infused blur – wandered off to the bar shouting ‘shots!’ on their own? So, as soon as I saw this poster, my first reaction was that maybe I am putting myself in a vulnerable position that could result in me being raped... again.
I spent a long time getting over my feelings of self-blame, my anxieties around going out in a short skirt and my fear of being alone in a club – even for just a wee. But, putting rape blame onto the victim, or her friends for being left alone, wearing an outfit that was ‘asking for it’ or any of the other repulsive comments I have listened to over the years just makes his/her life harder.
Telling someone she is vulnerable due to her actions is just a way to multiply her self-blame, which I guarantee she already has
I am lucky that I have been supported enough to know that it was not my fault, to be confident enough to drink a little more than I should and to be in a comfortable relationship – but not everyone manages to come through the other side.
Although, I agree that young women (the usual target of abuse) should be educated about the risks, I feel that a poster telling someone she is vulnerable due to her actions is just a way to multiply her self-blame, which I guarantee she already has. We need to stop telling women how to behave when they are out, we need to understand that it is not OK to tell a girl not to walk somewhere alone at night and we need to not make excuses for why it happened and we must put the blame where it really belongs.
So many women are afraid to report the attack, tell anyone or feel a sense of shame over what happened, and this shame is placed by posters like the one created by Sussex Police.
I understand that Sussex Police have responded to campaigners by suggesting they have an obligation to help women minimise the risks, but if someone is going to commit this crime they will do it whether the girl has been left alone in a crowded night club, or not.
This poster has left previous victims, even ones who like me have allowed it to make them stronger, re-visit the day of events and wonder if there was anything they could do to stop it. The answer is in placing the blame where it needs to lie and educate young people in schools about what consensual sex is – because being alone, looking hot or dancing sexily with your friends isn’t asking for it – no means no.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.