Despite the fact that most of us would cheerfully nosh off a mismatched sock-sporting Simon Cowell rather than go to work, some of you guys out there actually have jobs that you, erm like? And you know what? That’s OK. No matter how much your mates bitch about theirs. In fact, for fear of reprisals, you might not even have admitted it to yourself yet. Here’s some signs that you might not hate your job as much as you’re supposed to.
You’ve nested at your desk
A can of deodorant here, a collection of nail varnishes there. A substantial pile of shoes under your desk that explains why the bottom of your wardrobe at home is looking emptier than your bank account. Like a terrier pissing on a fire hydrant; you’ve marked your territory and you’re not going anywhere for a while.
You’ve taken Monster Jobs off your bookmarked pages
Now you spend your lunch breaks perusing The Debrief (thanks guys!) and not sneakily typing ‘Media Jobs in the Greater Manchester Area’ into Google with the brightness on your PC turned way down low.
You’ve got a mug
You enjoy your tea from finest Cath Kidston china (or one of those Pantone mugs if you’re cool), but keep an eye out for your colleagues who’ve refused to commit to owning one and instead sip their brews out of paper cups. Nothing singles out a desperate man praying for a new opportunity to spirit him away from the crushing boredom of his current job like a paper cup.
You’ve seen a colleague on a weekend
And not in a, ‘Whoopsadaisy isn’t this awkward bumping into you in a supermarket type thing, so weird we both need to buy food right?’ As in you’ve arranged a time and a place, both headed there and sat and had a chat that sometimes veered onto subjects other than work.
You’ve got office in-jokes
Oh those guys over in accounts. Company Away Day 2013 amiright? Squash rackets ahoy! You had to be there.
You get a full weekend
That isn’t cut short by the familiar cloud of black depression that kicks in on cue every Saturday at 23:59.
You talk about your boss like your friend talks about that guy she just started dating
‘You’re talking about cooking? Did I tell you Jenna’s really into her food? The other day I brought my lunch in from home and she was all like, “That smells nice!” She’s so funny you guys I can’t even deal.’
You’ve still got holiday left at the end of the year
Keep this one to yourself or we can’t be responsible for the mob mentality that’ll crush you like the simpering worker bee you are next time you’re out of eyeshot of the boss.
You’ve actually read one of those articles your nan ripped out of the paper for you because she though you might find it interesting, ‘With your fancy job and everything’
It was about mortgage rates, you work in a shop. Still always good to have something to banter about with the customers.
Follow Jess on Twitter @jess_commons
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.