Yesterday, Dan Bacon's blog post about how to talk to women who are wearing headphones went viral. And it's easy to see why. It's the biggest pile of entitled douchebaggery to hit the internet in a long old while.
In it, pick-up artist Dan (choice excerpt from his 'About Me' section: 'Sure, I could get an unattractive woman interested (pretty much any guy can do that), but my ex and any other beautiful women that I was attracted to didn’t want anything to do with me. I knew that I was a good guy and that I deserved better, but hot women just didn’t seem to value the traits that I had to offer') explains to guys who, would quite frankly be a lot better off without him, how to pick up a woman who is wearing headphones.
His tips include: standing in front of her, miming taking headphones off, making a 'joke' ('your big green headphones were calling out to me' HAHAHA), and so on. The entire article's a pile of crap and the excellent Emily Reynolds has done a very nice job of explaining exactly WHY it's a pile of crap here.
Just in case Dan's not clear though, there's plenty of other places and instances where women are not A-OK with being approached, so we thought we'd map them out for him.
1. Working out at the gym
Yes: when she's gone full Taylor Swift and flown backwards off the running machine. Here an 'are you OK' and 'can I call an ambulance' is probably the right thing to do.
No: When she's mid-way through a set on the shoulder press. This is not the time to tap her on the shoulder and talk about your own workout and how strong you are Alex-from-Clapham.
2. In the cinema
Yes: If you're an usher, she's drunk and shouting film spoilers at other customers. A 'Ma'am I'm going to have to ask you to leave' here is definitely OK.
No: If she's sat by herself in an empty cinema and you choose to sit down next to her, despite having 200 other seats to choose from.
3. On a train
Yes: If you've battled your way on, finally found a seat next to woman and need a quick grumble about the state of public transport. A 'can you bloody believe it's like this EVERY Friday?' followed by a quick eye roll will probably emit a sympathetic nod. End scene.
No: If you've just settled in next to a woman on the 12:43 from Kings Cross to Edinburgh with a hefty journey time of five hours and 39 minutes ahead of you and you really feel the need to tell someone about your bitch of an ex-girlfriend.
4. At a bar
Yes: If a woman is at a bar, with pals, and is having a little look around. Saying hi, making a joke and waiting to see how well your approach is recieved before making an educated guess as to whether to continue your conversation based on said reception is A-OK.
No: If a woman is sat by herself at a bar, reading a book. She doesn't need 'rescuing', she's not 'desperate', she just wants a glass of pinot noir to go with her murder mystery because it turns out that page 63 is a real stresser and it probably goes better with wine.
5. If a woman if having fun with her friends
**Yes: **If the group of women call you over, ask your opinion on something and invite you to join the conversation. You, are then within your rights to choose whether or not you want to join. The women should then respect that decision.
No: If the group of women have smiled politely at your joke, then turned back to their original conversation which you were not a part of. This is your cue to leave. Persistance does not equal chivalry.
FYI, the headphones article is far from the most dangerous article on Dan's Modern Man blog. Other choice titles include My Ex Is Telling Me To Move On (includes tips on how to make an ex-girlfriend look at you with renewed love 'even if she tries to fight it'), Why Does Being Too Nice to a Woman Often Lead to Rejection? ('If she enjoys being around him and appreciates his nice behavior, why doesn’t she want to have a sexual relationship with him?') and Why Do Women Act Like Men? ('Personally speaking, I look at Salma Hayek as just another girl and would never feel intimidated by her or any other girl. That’s why I have been able to attract women so easily. They’re all girls to me.')
Like this? Then you might also be interested in:
Return Of Kings: Everything You Need To Know About The Anti-Feminist Group
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Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.