Just when we thought the exposition of Men’s Rights Activists’ online forums would put a halt on the whole Pick-Up Artist movement – a lot of PUAs decamp to MRA forums after they report little success from the books that tell them how to pick up women, blaming women, instead of the people who market the books telling them how to pick up women – a male pick-up guide comes along.
The ‘Subway Romeo’, real name Brian Robinson, is a New Yorker who’s managed to get 500 dates by speaking to women on the subway, calling the city's interconnected transport system a 'babe smorgasbord’, but treating it more like a chessboard where he can 'game' women. Yes, he might have a slightly different technique to that of Neil Strauss's infamous pick-up artist book The Game. But it's all the same: Robinson recently told *The Times *all about how he chats them up, ahead of the release of his book How To Meet Women On The Subway.
After asking for directions, ‘then I say “Oh, I hear an accent, where are you from?” because most women in a big city are from somewhere else.’
Then, he continues with these examples: ‘Wow! I’ve always wanted to visit Uzbekistan!’ ‘How often do you go back home?’ ‘Are all the women there as beautiful as you?’
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Presuming this chatter goes OK and the woman hasn’t left the train carriage, he then explains that men should ask: ‘Do you have email?’ – but without explaining why or saying ‘I know I’ve just met you’. Interested men are also advised to not ask stupid questions (as if buying a dating guide then using it under the presumption that any woman will fall for any of those lines doesn’t already render you stupid), to just, as The Times puts it: 'get the email and get out'.
OK, we get that the subway in New York is meant to be horrible, so that any sort of human interaction beyond the man next to you slamming his head into a glass partition on repeat might be greeted warmly, but it’s time to retire the whole Pick-Up Artist thing. We get that it’s just a male version of the billions of ‘how to get a man’ articles that have sadly proliferated through female-geared media since whenever, but that doesn’t mean it’s right, or deserves airtime in 2014. As well as setting men real-life missions to enact on unsuspecting strangers, like women are Pokémon or something, it basically hijacks common decency eg striking up a conversation with a stranger to make the journey a little easier, with the hidden end-goal of getting a date.
We’re not saying pick-up artistry is harassment or anything, more of a creepy annoyance that might lend some men to thinking women are just there for their enjoyment. Plus, if a woman refuses to hand over her email address? What then? she's kind of on the spot being in a public place. The only positive is, if a guy tries this on you when the Tube’s underground, or the train’s in a signal darkspot, you can always fob him off with a fake email address and he won’t be able to check he’s got the right email address before he gets off. But yeah, this is all messed up because it assumes politeness should only be provided if there is an expectation of sex.
Plus, there’s a level of lying involved to get something; it encourages guys to feign an interest in things that might be relevant to that woman (Uzbekistan?!) so they can sleep with her. It’s not the end of the world, but why lie to get a date? Are you really that ugly?
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We figure that old-school charm isn’t only something that can be bought or learned, it’s not actually everything to do with sex. If someone’s charming, they’ll be nice to everyone, not just hone in on the ones who might be likely to go on a date with them.
Maybe there’s a starting point. Men out there, we get it can’t be easy to strike up a conversation with a woman if she’s fearing out that you might be just another guy looking to pick her up. But if you really want to impress a woman, instead of buying a book that talks to you about women, just read a book that you can talk to women about. We’re not saying a full-on indulgence in chick-lit is the goal, but if a man actually is interested in women as people instead of quantifiable point-scoring missions, like a flesh-version of* Call of Duty* or something, he probably won’t need trickery to get laid.
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Follow Sophie on Twitter @sophwilkinson
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.