In the past few years I’ve called myself ‘bisexual’ ‘lesbian’ ‘gay’ and ‘queer’ and I deliberately changed my Facebook gender status to ‘two spirit’. I know ex-lesbians, asexual gays, women so fed up with men they turn to other women for a bit more open affection, and people who prefer to define their sexuality by the person they’re sleeping with right now. All that said, news that the ‘gay gene’ has been discovered last week was comforting. It’s further affirmation for people across the LGBTQi (the acronym widens to ‘queer’ and ‘intersex’ to count all people who just aren’t out and out basic ‘straight’) spectrum. The report, done by the North Shore Institute in America, found that between 409 gay brothers, each had certain markers in certain parts of their brains.
Neuroscientist Simon LeVay told the New Scientist: ‘This study knocks another nail into the coffin of the “chosen lifestyle” theory of homosexuality’
It’s just like that Lady Gaga song – gay is just another way of being. It’s natural and unquestionable.
The gay gene debate comes up a lot – in the last year there have been three major conversation-stirring reports into it. Some might say, ‘Well, why does it matter? Shouldn’t you be able to sleep with whoever you like so long as it’s two consenting adults?’ It * shouldn’t* matter, but as long as people looking to restrict the rights of LGBT people use that same ‘Why does it even matter?’ argument to push their agendas, it feels like it does.
There are two major conflicting theories as to what makes a person gay – it’s a lifestyle choice or something some of us are genetically predisposed to. Though the ‘lifestyle choice’ argument might seem tricky to you, both theories can be controversial, whichever side of the debate you stand on. You’ll notice that some gay people behave in certain ways. Lesbians might dress boyishly (our interpretation? We’re not dressing to attract men/compete with women/do anything but feel comfortable in ourselves), and gay men might be flamboyant (it’s peacocking, just in the same way a straight man might spend ages trying to affect that ‘I don’t give a shit’ swagger). And trans people might not even want to adhere to one of two prescribed genders (what even makes a man male? Or a woman female?). And there are those very real figures of LGBT people taking way more drugs than their straight counterparts. These things are known as ‘lifestyle choices’. A Reagan-appointed judge in America recently upheld Louisiana’s right to define marriage as one man, one woman, saying that the effort to overturn the law was people with ‘personal, genuine, and sincere lifestyle choices’ demanding ‘recognition’.
If you just turn on Grindr in a provincial town, you quickly realise that gayness is so random it just can’t be a choice. Besides, when did you decide to be straight?
Media representation skews expectations of LGBT people. Lesbians are angry, gays are flamboyantly creative, bisexuals are untrustworthy and trans people are to be pitied. But if you look at the bleak way other minorities are represented (or even just the shoddy way women in the public eye are seen, or not seen if they’re over 40) you’ll begin to realise how twisted the stereotypes are.
But some difficult stereotypes do have some truth in them, and some LGBT people do behave in particular ways, either living within the bounds they’re allowed, or as coping mechanisms for an intolerant world. This means that, unfortunately, some stereotypes aren’t misconceptions – the tendency for LGBT people to congregate around gay villages for safety and community might explain why they sometimes take more drugs than their straight peers. Some are also more driven to suicide – two in five young LGBT people have had suicidal thoughts because of bullying. But both of these are more to do with the way society treats them, than a toxic byproduct of the actual sexuality being a ‘lifestyle choice’. And when you think of these lonely teenagers crying in their single beds, feeling torn up about their sexuality, or if you just turn on Grindr in a provincial town, you quickly realise that gayness is so random it just can't be a choice. Besides, when did you decide to be straight?
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The ‘gay gene’, for all scientists’ studies, comes with some different problems. First of all, if you pin hope on it, trust that there’ll be people pinning hope on its lack of existence the moment a contradictory study arrives. Or people spinning that study. One such study (of gay men) shows that of large groups of siblings, the youngest ones will most likely show same-sex attraction. This implies gay people are a form of population control. Luckily, other interpretations are that these gay ‘spares’ are there to help out with older siblings’ children, something I remember every time I change my nephew’s hefty nappy. At present, it seems that the sorts of people doing genetic studies to find the gay gene aren’t looking into ways of destroying the gay gene, but who knows where that research could end up.
And then there’s the response to same-sex marriage in many parts of the world, especially Russia, where the belief that young people are recruited into becoming LBGT by way of ‘propaganda’, has become enshrined in law. If you’re part of a family with more than one gay person, or even the child of divorce, do you really want to be held up as an example of gayness being a learned thing? One girl who has a gay brother tells me, ‘When people are shocked about both me and my brother being gay, I always tell them, “We’ve got a straight sister, too,” to let them know we’re not totally fucked up.’
And what about all the people out there who attempt to mask, hide or even change their sexuality, working on the theory that if it walks like a duck, swims like a duck and swims like a duck, then it must be a duck? I spoke to one girl who, as a teenager tried to go gay, because she assumed she should be. ‘When I was 15, I realised that at least a couple of the really tomboyish thugette girls I knew were probably lesbians.’
I know lots of gay people who ‘play it straight’ in an attempt to remain closeted, or even just downplay their sexuality to people they haven’t chosen to tell.
‘One started really aggressively flirting with me and we banged in that really shit fumbling way teenagers do. I remember at the time thinking “Am I into this?” Quickly followed by, “Look you’re just gonna have to force yourself to be a lesbian.”’ She decided to try again, but still wasn’t feeling it. It was only when she had sex with a guy that she realised she was definitely straight. ‘As soon as I got a taste of dick a couple of years later I knew where my loyalties lay.’ Anecdotally, I know lots of gay people who ‘play it straight’ in an attempt to remain closeted, or even just downplay their sexuality to people they haven’t chosen to tell.
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So gayness might be temporarily hidden, or it might be something you can force for a little bit. That’s why, even though this research can help legitimise the existence of gay people, to say we're here and normal, it can be faulty. Because to be part of these pieces of research, even those woolly enough to not test gay men’s female or straight counterparts for comparison, you first of all have to know who you are. We have no idea how many more men, for example, could have been involved in research if they’d been able to admit their sexuality themselves first. It’s therefore impossible to ever conduct a fully accurate study into the existence of the gay gene, because there are so many people out there who still feel unable to admit their sexuality to themselves or anyone else.
Following this latest research, LGBT rights charity Stonewall told The Independent, ‘While some people may choose to focus on the continuing debate of whether people are born gay or not, we’ll continue to focus on making sure everyone has the same rights and opportunities regardless of who they love.’ And though I’m not too keen on their ‘love’ angle – LGBT people should be allowed to fuck people they don’t love, so should straight people – I get this.
For me, research into the gay gene is still important – as it provides some affirmation when I come across anyone suggesting my sexuality is a byproduct of non-traditional upbringing or bad experiences with boys early on that ‘turned’ me. My sexuality is such a source of joy for me, why should it be defined by something negative? The whole point is that, despite negative influences, I’ve been privileged enough to even come out in the first place. LGBT rights campaigner Peter Tatchell recently said there’s a ‘pleading, defensive sub-text’ to wanting gayness to be perceived as natural – why do we need to go to such lengths to legitimise our actions?
Yet, the search for the gay gene goes on. But while we still live in a world where some gay people can’t even come out to themselves, the results will be skewed anyway. Maybe instead of looking at how gayness comes about for ways to say it’s OK, we should look at how some straightness makes itself known by way of homophobic attacks or slurs against gay people. That’s the real learned behaviour here.
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Picture: Vianna
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.