Now I know this seems counterintuitive but, maybe we shouldn’t believe everything Beyoncé tells us. Because apparently love doesn’t just make you drunk – it also makes you fat.
New research from online pharmacy UKMedix has shown that we all pile on the pounds when we get in a new relationship – and it’s the girls who are the happiest with their partners who put on the most weight. On average, the people surveyed put on seven pounds (HALF A STONE!) in the first year of their relationships because we tend to eat more when we're happy and content with our lives. Infuriatingly, the opposite seemed to be true for the guys who tend to lose weight when they settled down – 39% said they shed an average of 4.1lbs in the first year.
Sarah Bailey from UKMedix puts it all down to the happier ‘frame of mind’ a relationship puts you in, which makes us chill out about putting on weight.
Well I’m not buying it. Just got into a new relationship? It’s not because you’re so loved up, here’s the REAL reason you’re about to pile on the pounds:
You’re about to go out and eat a WHOLE bunch
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but almost every ‘coupley’ or ‘date night’ activity pretty much exclusively revolves around food. When you were single, you only really went out for dinner once or twice a week with your mates – maybe three times if Pizza Express are doing a Orange Wednesday deal (isn’t that garlic butter just DELISH?!) – but now you’re coupled up you’re about to become a veritable eating machine. Anniversaries, birthdays, cinemas nights, Tuesdays – none of them make sense without going out for some posh nosh with your new boo. And you’re waistline isn’t going to thank you for it.
Oh, and you’ll be eating more when you stay in too
A whole brave new world of takeaways is about to unfold in front of your very eyes now you’re in a relationship. Before now, a takeaway felt kind of naughty because it’s expensive when you’re eating solo and most of them are incredibly bad for you – but all that’s about to change now you can split the cost AND the price with your beloved. Even when you share a dine-in-for-two-for-£10 from Marks & Spencer, you’re probably going to get one of those chocolate, gooey, croissant things and everyone knows one of those is the calorific equivalent of eating 12 Big Macs. That’s just science.
**You’re about to eat Domino's pizza, hungover, in bed. **
Boys can eat hangover food like it’s No Big Deal, so when he’s sitting in bed next to you bulk ordering a Domino's with twelve extra garlic and herb dips, some potato wedges AND those weird dough balls on the side – don’t tell me you’re not going to be slightly tempted to get involved too. And one of those things is the calorific equivalent of eating 52 Big Macs. More science.
Sunday mornings are about to become about spooning, not running.
When you were single, ‘activity lead’ Sundays which centered around ‘bettering yourself’ were the thing. Not so much any more – why would you bother actually getting out of bed when you could just have sex followed by a spoonathon while watching back-to-back episodes of Game of Thrones. Doesn’t that sound adorable? Running, by comparison, is just a bit pants.
Speaking of sex…
So the only exercise you’re really getting once you’re in a relationship is sex, and even that isn’t likely to be the calorie-burning bonkathons you were probably having when you were single. When you first get with someone, you’re likely to have that show-off, acrobatic sex that leaves you feeling like you’ve done circuit training followed by a spinning class. But one of the nicest things about being part of a couple is that you get to know each other’s bodies and you can make each other come without having to actually do all the much, you know, moving around. Great for your relationship, bad for your bodies.
Follow Sophie on Twitter @sophiecullinane
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.