If you’ve ever rolled your eyes at one of those already pretty flawless celebrities bleating on about how tough their juice diet was or how their glowing skin is all down to omega 3 supplements (and nothing to do with the cosmetic surgeon they have on speed dial), you’ll like these photos.
Italian photographer Dan Banninohas set up images of what Gwyneth, Beyonce and co’s kitchen tables really would look like based on stuff they’ve said about their wacky diets. And the results are obviously tongue in cheek – but pretty funny nonetheless.
You’ve got Beyoncé’s Master Cleanse diet. You know the one she told Oprah helped her slim down to play the role of Diana Ross’s backing singer in that saccharine Motown movie *Dreamgirls. *Think: ‘a concoction of fresh lime or lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper mixed with water’ that’s consumed 6-12 times a day, along with an ‘herbal laxative tea... taken twice a day, and no other food is consumed.’ Sounds fun, Bey. Looks even more fun.
Then Bannino has gone for Gwyneth, who makes herself an easy target with her advocacy for kale smoothies, zero fat/sugar/anything vaguely enjoyable in every newsletter of Goop. (Side note: how much do you reckon the open rates have soared since she annoucnced that concious uncoupling in one of them? Clever that...)
The only one that actually looks any fun? Well that would be Kate Moss’s, naturally. Full of empty Cointreau bottles and overflowing ashtrays. Actually, even that looks pretty gross, too. Imagine the furry tongue you’d have waking up after a night out with her?
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.