From flirting over the photocopier to stationery cupboard fumbles, the office romance remains a fixture of our working lives. But does it have a future in the post #MeToo world? Last week, the CEO of McDonald's, Steve Easterbrook, was fired from his £12.3m-a-year position for a relationship with an employee. The 52-year-old ‘violated company policy’ and showed ‘poor judgement’, said the fast food giant, though the relationship was consensual.
Increasingly, companies are banning relationships between managers and employees who report to them, or trying to discourage office romances completely. As Andrew Conway, of Lawrence Stephens solicitors, says, ‘Workplace relationships are a difficult issue and can be a risk for companies. They can cause conflicts of interest, favouritism and if it turns sour they can lead to litigation.’
Still, between a quarter and a third of relationships start in the workplace, while six in 10 of us admit hooking up with a colleague. And given how much time we spend at work, is it really fair to rule out romance totally?
Laura, 36, who's had several office flings, admits it can get awkward sometimes. But, she argues, ‘Fancying someone at work is fun. Having a secret fling can be brilliantly energising and improve your productivity, because you’re buzzing. Banning consenting, single, grown-ups from falling in love or just having a snog at the office party is ridiculous and an infringement of human rights to have a nice time.’
Indeed, lawyer Andrew adds that workplaces do have to strike a balance between rules and romance. ‘Under the Human Rights Act in the UK, employees have a right to privacy and a family life,' he explains. 'So banning relationships is not likely to be practical. But having policies to minimise any fallout is now advisable.'
At first it was fun, but eventually it’s hard to pretend you're not dating someone eight hours a day
Of course, the fallout can be worse when the relationship is between you and your manager – as Fleur, 35, knows. She says, ‘I had a relationship with my boss, which started out exciting because of the power dynamic – until I suggested a shag in the basement showers, to which he got very serious and replied that would be gross misconduct and shut the conversation down. On hindsight, this was probably a responsible reaction on his part, but at the time it just killed the passion. Ultimately, the relationship didn’t work out.'
And endings can be particularly brutal when you have to face your ex every day. Kelly, 33, says of her workplace romance: ‘Ultimately he broke my heart. Thankfully he left not long after - it would’ve definitely affected my work otherwise. Getting over someone is hard enough without them being on the next desk.’
Even when romance does endure, it is tricky. Anna, 27, was working for a drugs company when she met Matt. ‘There was no policy, but we knew it'd be frowned upon so we kept it secret,’ she says. ‘At first it was fun, but eventually it’s hard to pretend you're not dating someone eight hours a day.’ One day, she heard in meeting that her boyfriend’s department might be outsourced, threatening his position. ‘It was really difficult but I didn’t tell him about it - sharing that information wouldn’t have been fair on either of us.'
Anna got a new job six months later, and she and Matt are still together. ‘When I left I think everyone knew about us. You can’t forbid office romances - the heart wants what it wants.’
How to date responsibly at work, according to Joe Wiggins, Careers Expert at Glassdoor
Find out the company policy - don’t wait until the relationship gets serious, as you may then have a difficult decision.
Remain professional, even attending events out of business hours. Don’t bring relationship troubles into the workplace - and by no means engage in public displays of affection.
Be realistic, and be prepared for a break-up. How will you handle dealing with this person at work every day? Will one of you be willing to move to a different department? Are these even things that you want to deal with?
Be honest - a few dates can be kept secret, but if you decide it's serious, inform your employer, rather than them hearing it through the rumour mill. You don’t have to go into great detail, but assure them the relationship won't interfere with your performance.
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