As 21st-century girls, we know an asshole when we see one. We even know how an asshole differs from a jerk, a wanker, a doofus, a dickhead or a bastard. They are all different flavours of crap human. But familiar as we are with the breed, we used to lack a cohesive, universal, codified definition – until now!
Thanks to Aaron James, professor of philosophy at the University of California, the world now has an official, academic, socio-psychological definition for an asshole. In Assholes: A Theory, James argues that a person 'is an asshole when his sense of entitlement makes him immune to complaints from other people'. The nice, normal rest of the world find assholes frustrating because 'the asshole thinks he's entitled to do things that he's not entitled to do. He does them defensively, and he's unwilling to listen to our arguments.' Yes, that sounds like an asshole alright.
I'd never suggest that all assholes are men – assholism is an equal opportunities employer. But interestingly, professor James argues that, historically, men make the best assholes. 'Assholes are mainly men who systematically help themselves to special advantages,' he says. When they won't listen to our arguments, it drives it nuts because, 'in effect, we're deprived of recognition as an equal.' Woah, he's right! The injustice/inequality thing is definitely criteria I use when weighing up whether someone is an asshole or a wanker.
James also addresses whether assholes are born or made, and how we recognise and coexist with assholes without screaming, 'OMG, you total ASSHOLE' every five minutes. Professor James, you are my New Favourite Professor.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.