A cafe in Japan has hit upon an ingenious way to console lonely diners. The Moomin Cafe, which serves character-themed food in varying shades of adorable, brings solo guests giant stuffed Moomin toys to keep them company. It sounds like the perfect spot for some lone dining if Scandanavian cartoons about hippos (yes, we're a little hazy on the details, too) are your kind of thing. But it does seem a bit conspicuous. Nothing says 'hey, I'm alone here!' like a four-foot quadruped that resembles a giant marshmallow joining you for dinner.
So, is this really where Japan's young singles are hanging out? Erm, well, it doesn't seem to have caught on with the singles market as perhaps the owners would have hoped, as none of the Japanese-based girls I spoke to had heard of it (although one woman I spoke to lamented the fact that she'd never come across it before), but it's certainly symbolic of the burgeoning market for singles venues in Japan.
As more and more women are opting to put off marriage in favour of careers and their own goals, solitary dining is no longer just the territory of time-strapped salarymen stopping in ramen bars before the commute home. Eating alone needn't be a symbol of chronic loneliness – savvy management teams at cafes, bars, hotels and restaurants are all turning their attention to a growing and lucrative market of ohitorisama, loosely translating to 'singleton', it's also what a waitress would say to indicate a table for one.
The word is usually tied to unmarried women who eat, drink, or travel alone – which, for many of Japan's young high fliers, is merely another way of exercising their independence. It's much kinder than some of the other names that have been used in the past to describe the country's young and unattached, among them 'parasite singles' and 'loser dogs'.
In the past the country's young and unattached were called 'parasite singles' and 'loser dogs'
'I love going out alone,' says Emi, a 26 year old who lives in Osaka. 'Of course, I go out with my friends, too. But I have a job and because I'm not married I don't have to look after anyone else. I like being independent.'
'Independent' seems a carefully-chosen word. Putting off marriage is no longer as loaded with stigma as it used to be – it's seen as a choice and, for a lot of women, the obvious one. Generation Y are starting to push back against the idea of letting their own time and career take a back seat so they can manage a household.
Still, it's a trend that makes politicians nervous – Japan's government has even started throwing money at local dating services in its latest scramble to pull the country's plummeting birth rate out of freefall – but for many young women, it just doesn't make sense to get married yet.
'I think women have more choices now about their lives,' says Momoko, a 24 year old living in Kyoto. 'Getting married and having children means your time is limited, and there are lots of things women want to do for themselves first. If you've gone to university, got student debt and studied hard, then it's a waste to get married right away!'
Childcare provision, workplace rights and social expectations still lag behind a generation of young, ambitious women who aren't all enamoured with the idea of becoming housewives. Last year, Japan fell four places to 105th in the World Economic Forum's Gender Gap Report, and having children often spells the end of a career.
Even many of the over-25s who in the '80s were labelled 'Christmas cakes' – because only confectionary wants to be left on the shelf past December 24th – are in no hurry to tie themselves to family life.
As a result, young, working women have more disposable income than ever before, and staying unmarried frees up a lot of time. Some of that time might be spent dating or with friends, but where else are they spending their non-working hours?
Nozomi, who's 25 and lives in Tokyo, tells me she'll often go to a cafe, restaurant or even cinema alone. Starbucks is a firm favourite, but she says she's noticed that staff at family restaurants in particular are making efforts to make lone female guests feel comfortable by making sure no one harasses them. Satoko, a 22-year-old student living in Kyoto, agrees that more places are 'singles friendly' than in the past. 'I've been going to the gym for a few months and I've seen so many ladies coming to work out after work,' says Satoko. 'So they must be single or something. Going to the gym for a work out, going for yakiniku, having ramen, watching movies alone are all getting common.'
Staff at family restaurants in particular are making efforts to make lone female guests feel comfortable by making sure no one harasses them
Yakiniku is essentially a cook-your-own barbecue joint – it literally means 'grilled meat' – where you order a plate of meat to share and cook it over a flaming grill sunk into the table. It says something that even restaurants built with sharing in mind are being opened up to lone customers. Some have added half portions to their menus and installed grills in counter tops, like the kind you might see in sushi bars to avoid any slightly tragic booth-to-yourself scenarios.
That's not to say it comes naturally to everyone. 'If I go to a cafe on my own, I usually go to a small cafe where there aren't many people, I guess it'sbecause I'm embarrassed,' Momoko tells me. But she adds that if you're looking for somewhere to go alone, there are a lot of places to choose from. Even izakaya – traditional Japanese bars – welcome ohitorisama now, she says.
'There are still lots of people in Japan who would hate to be seen alone by other people,' Nozomi continues. 'But this situation is getting better, because the number of women who are independent is increasing. It's easier than a few years ago, I think.'
And as for the Moomins? 'I love Moomins, so I'd be really happy to go,' she admits. 'But as for why I'm alone... Wven if staff went out of their way to give me the stuffed toy to sit with, I'd think that's none of their business.'
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Picture: Shota Mitsuyasu
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.