Riders – what famous people request to have in their dressing rooms – are actually a canny way for people to check a venue can follow instructions (if they can’t take brown M&Ms out of a packet, will they be able to rig lights?!). But that doesn’t stop celebs going totally mad. Hillary Clinton recently did a speech at UCLA, and her rider (leaked by *The Washington Post) *was relatively muted in comparison to some:
Long, flat pillows for back support
A lavalier mic so she can give TED-like lectures
‘A case of still water, room temperature, to be deposited stage right’
‘A carafe of warm/hot water, coffee cup and saucer, pitcher of room temperature water, water glass, and lemon wedges’ both onstage and in the green room
‘Coffee, tea, room temp sparkling and still water, diet ginger ale, crudité, hummus and sliced fruit’ in the green room
A computer, mouse and printer, as well as a scanner
If you can, you might as well, right guys? To put Hillary’s rider in context, here’s a pick of the most balls-out bonkers requests from leaked riders we’ve ever heard of. You have to feel for whoever’s job it is to sort out this shit:
Lady Gaga: During a court battle with her assistant, it transpired that Gaga had requested a mannequin with fluffy pink pubic hair in her dressing room. Also, the entire room had to be transformed into a ‘glam rock’ vibe with pictures of her favourite bands, fan art, and black satin draped over any exposed non-glam-rock wall.
Mariah Carey: The queen of diva demands, there are a few balls-out highlights from her rider requests over the years, including Cristal with bendy straws to drink it with, an attendant hired solely to dispose of her chewing gum, a blanket ban on ‘busy patterns’ in the dressing room, 20 white kittens, 100 white doves and bottles of Vitamin water she could wash her dogs with. Yep.
Jennifer Lopez: Reportedly everything has to be painted white, the cushions have to be white, literally everything HAS to be completely white. What if she’s fake-tanned? I suppose it doesn’t matter because she’s Jlo.
Katy Perry: According to reports, she demands a director’s chair with her name on it (bit cringey), custom-made French lamps and for a server to cut up her fruit and vegetables for her before she eats them. To be fair, that’s probably because her outfits are so restrictive, she can’t do the necessary arm movements to quarter or dice a melon, but still – getting someone to custom-make lamps is a bit far.
Marilyn Manson: Asks for Haribo gummy bears, which nobody expected. But he once apparently asked for a ‘bald-headed, toothless hooker’ which was a bit more on brand and, we reckon, not to be taken seriously. Hopefully?!
Barbra Streisand: She’s just a regular gal who likes regular rose petals in her dressing room loo. Like everyone. Oh, and there’s a ban on any members of staff wearing T-shirts while she’s around, as well as metal detectors at every door which isn’t pricey or OTT at all.
MIA: The rapper requested a cheeseboard that had to involve cave-aged Gruyère, AA batteries (mystifying), selections of ‘quality chewy sweets and chocolate (to include 8 Ferrero Rocher [gold balls])’. Which isn’t actually that mad, but we love the specificity of the gold balls – and then a list of roughly a million organic foods (olives ‘NOT CANNED’, dried mango, dried blueberries, berries, cherry tomatoes, lemons, maple syrup, cayenne pepper) with which she was presumably going to make some sort of Master Cleanser juice with. But what were the 4 AA batteries for? We’re dying to know.
And one rider we can totally get on board with is Drake’s – the rapper asks for ‘One bottle of Pinot Grigio, one case of Heineken, one bottle of Jack Daniel’s, one bottle of Patron Silver tequila, one bottle of Grey Goose, and one bottle of Hennessy or Courvoisier’.
Oh, and Britney Spears once asked for fish-and-chips and McDonald’s cheeseburgers without the buns.
Britney and Drake: we salute you.
Like this? You might also be interested in...
Follow Stevie on Twitter: @5tevieM
Picture: Eugenia Loli
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.