Why Kim Kardashian’s Recent Beach Pics Shouldn’t Have ‘Broken The Internet’

The Kardashian rear has made headlines again, but for the dumbest of reasons, says columnist Lucy Vine

Kim Kardashian

by Lucy Vine |
Published on

You know who’s having the best week ever? Kim Kardashian. She’s in Mexico with about 15 of her female mates and, like any decent all-girl holiday, there has so far been vomiting, naked cartwheels, ‘special brownies’, fights, and inflatable penises (peni?). Kim is basically having my 2009 Marbella holiday where my friend Jess was naked the entire trip, Lynds nearly got us thrown out of the hotel and I came out top of the tart chart.

Bragging over.

Kim is having a truly excellent time, and she does not give any level of f-ck that back in the real world, people are losing their tiny minds over her bikini pictures, and that slight rippling of cellulite (seriously, if Kim has cellulite, I have cellu-heavy). The internet has taken these pictures and run with them, offended that Kim seems so happy EVEN THOUGH SHE IS CLEARLY SO HIDEOUSLY DEFORMED. Asking if she is allowed to be OK with her body. Like, shouldn’t she be more ashamed? She looks like she is happy with her bum, and even tweeted that she’s “flawless”, but c’mon, surely she is crawling home to eat apology-salad and cry?

Kim may not care about this stupid debate, but I do. Sometimes I feel like my whole job is telling people not to be gross. And it so often seems to be the same troll-y idiots I’m talking to. On Tuesday’s Good Morning Britain, presenter Piers Morgan delightedly pored over Kim’s bikini pictures, as his co-host Susanna Reid commented that, ‘I think we should celebrate cellulite, it’s a fact of life for, I’d say, 90 percent of women.’ But Morgan wasn’t going to take that – no sir. No women in his orbit gets to have their own opinion on women’s bodies NO SIR NOT ON MY WATCH.

‘Why would we celebrate it?’ he shouted, like he always does, in case someone three miles away couldn’t – or really didn’t want to – hear him. ‘We put up with it, tolerate it, but not accept it. Flaws should not be celebrated.’

You hear that, women who might’ve previously felt OK about themselves? FLAWS ARE DISGUSTING AND YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CELEBRATE THEM.

But that’s..


Hold on, don’t I get to make up my own mi…


I remain in a perpetual state of confusion over this man. I don’t understand why he feels entitled to comment – why he gets the final say on women’s issues. Why does he get to say what is and isn’t allowed? And he does this, like, all the time. He is the walking-talking definition of Mansplaining. If anyone ever asks you to explain that term to them, firstly, find a man to do the explaining, you weak, vagina-owning hysterical female, and then you silently point at Piers Morgan.

Reid later took to Twitter to stand up for herself, writing, ‘Cellulite is not a flaw. It is a feature of many bodies, regardless of gender, shape or size.’ And then the ever-agreeable Katie Hopkins waded in, apparently angry that Kim is even alive and asking rhetorically in her column, ‘Should we celebrate when you achieve massive mammaries or an ass shelf complete with ornaments?’

I’m not sure what ornaments she’s referring to, and is anyone else picturing their Grandma’s living room right now. But regardless of whether you are side-eyeing Kim and her probably-fake booty, the issue here is not the cellulite really. It’s people like Katie Hopkins and Piers Morgan feeling entitled – YET AGAIN – to pass judgement and comment on the female body.

Kim’s allowed to feel however she feels about her cellulite. So are you. So am I. You can celebrate it, or you can head to your local town centre to demand a public flogging – it’s your call. And if that’s a flaw, sod it, I’m celebrating it.

Hot Mess by Lucy Vine is published by Orion and is available to pre-order now, out in eBook on 25th May £2.99 or in paperback on 13th July £7.99

Follow Lucy on Twitter @lecv

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