Kate Middleton Will Go Into Labour Whenever The Baby Likes, Thanks

We’re all excited, yes, but nagging a baby to drop out of a woman is hardly regal decorum, is it?

Kate Middleton Will Go Into Labour Whenever The Baby Likes, Thanks

by Sophie Wilkinson |
Published on

Kate Middleton is due to have another baby. And we’ll admit we’re really excited, if not to see how much the second Middleton-Wales-Windsor-Mountbatten-whatever child looks. Like, George looks a lot like his dad, so maybe the next child will look more like its mum? And, well, are we going to get another woman in line to the throne? These are really valid questions for a country that still has its government opened by the Queen and will buy products based on the number of royal warrants it has (remember when Benson & Hedges had the Queen’s logo on them? Weird, right?).

But while a lot of people are excited about the pending birth, like, say, The Mirror printing on its front page a photo of a heavily pregnant Kate in a car along with the headline: ‘The wait’s driving us crazy, Kate!’, it’s worth giving her a break.

We’ve never been pregnant before but we can’t imagine it being all lols, especially when you’re about to push a child with the Mountbatten-Winsdor bloodline through your vagina. And we also can’t imagine what it’s like to anticipate your waters breaking all over your Hobbs shoes at any moment.

What’s Kate Middleton’s privileged pregnancy got to do with us? Well, we’re already being asked by mates if we ever want kids, just because our siblings or friends of friends might have them. Or because that's apparently what women are meant to do in their 20s. When in reality, the question isn't asked of men, because we've long accepted that children don't maketh the man. So why do they so constantly define women, women not long out of childhood themselves? The prying into Kate’s state of dilation is just another example of people – men and women – nagging women into feeling they have to want kids or risk being an odd part in the world's circle of life, a nuisance, unwanted.

It's also worth remembering that we’ve hardly got to see Prince George that much, so it’s not as if we’ll get to see much of the new arrival. Even when it’s an adult, just like its cousin once removed, Princess Beatrice, the youngest in line to the throne might just go on holiday loads. Oh, and on the subject of holidays, some people might have misremembered something about the royal babies. We don’t actually get a day off when one’s born. The torment!

On a side note, if we want to talk about real torment, let's talk about what Mel Greig, the Australian radio DJ who pranked one of Kate Middleton's nurses during the first birth, has got to say. If you cast your mind back, the prank played on nurse Jacintha Saldhana was then mentioned in the suicide notes she left three days later. Mel's now being asked to give interviews ahead of the new birth, but in an open letter, she's requested that news outlets: 'Get a grip, don’t create a story… the story is already there… A precious baby is on its way and all you need to say is "Congratulations."'

We’re totally excited to hear the proverbial patter of tiny feet around Kensington Palace…but take all the time you need, royal baby.

Like this? You might also be interested in:

The New Royal Baby's About To Make Someone £15,000

Kate Middleton's Pregnancy Isn't An Excuse To Be A Dick

The Quest To Show Beyoncé And Kate Middleton As 'Normal' Helps Absolutely No-One

Follow Sophie on Twitter @sophwilkison

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

Just so you know, whilst we may receive a commission or other compensation from the links on this website, we never allow this to influence product selections - read why you should trust us